Bonfire of the Vanities - Week 106

One of the nifty things about hosting the BotV is that you can do pretty much whatever you like. Degrading, snarky, sarcastic, even eviscerating comments are actually encouraged. Keeping that in mind, we now present week 106 of the Bonfire. Helmets not included.

I'll break the submissions down into three steaming piles:

1. Trainwrecks - Worthy of BotV ridicule. Read these with a cringed eyebrow or a finger rubbing each temple. Fight the urge to cry for the wasted minutes of your life.
   
2. Vanilla - These are half an eye-roll up on the scale. Not quite the cream of the crap.
3. Submission Whores - These are decent posts. They deserve a read, a trackback - dare I say an Instalanche or Malkinlink? [I don't -ed.] But BotV quality? Not by my measurements. To each, their own, I suppose...
   

TRAINWRECKS - Why? Why do you hate us?

• Kim at Ramble Strip blogs about the title of Saddam's bootlegged book. We can think of a few titles for her post... (rhymes with snap... clap... trap...)
  
• Spirit Fingers violates the decency laws of 31 states. Fatwas are issued for stunts like this.
• Mustang 23 at Assumption of Command live blogs roller coaster building materials... I wish I was kidding.
• Harvey at Bad Example covers harddrive reformatting. Yeah, apparently blogging roller coaster parts was covered.
• Mad Anthony spends one of his once-in-a-blue-moon-on-a-leap-year Saturdays off... documenting what he did that day. Urge to jump off a cliff rising...
• a4g at Point Five composts the blogosphere with Earthworm Porn. Insert prostomiatution pun here.
• Think Sink presents a combination of "Who's on first" and Fox News. If you scroll up and down fast enough, Neil Cavuto looks like he's crossed-dressed.
• Ever draw a blank for blog material? Don't choose washing dishes.
• The Opinionated Bastard reveals Harry Potter and the Summoning of Rowling's Lawyers. Next time blog with your keyboard +2. Or something... dumpledork.
  
• Smack yourself if you actually scrolled up and down real fast on the Think Sink entry above.
• Holly Aho at Soldiers' Angel wondered What to Write About Today..., then proceeds to cover everything since the beginning of recorded history.
• Statistics show that after this moanfest, 14% of Technogypsy's posts last week were self proclaimed firewood. And Lemko Nut Cookies.
  

VANILLA - with 26% less cringe

• Feisty Republican Whore (or FRW) asks Ever want to know what Feisty has on her boombox? Uh, no. We want pictures, you blog tease.
• Susie at Practical Prenumbria let's the thronging masses know that she's ok. Her reader was relieved.
• Wunderkraut presents Google Vanity. Ironically, Mike didn't Google "Wunderpoo."
• Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality titles it Better Late Than Never. No... Actually never works there.
• Charlie Quidnunc at Rip & Read Blogger Podcast compiles a podcast that wouldn't load on my iPod. Apparently my 1.3 days of free space was inadequate.
• Elisson at Blog d'Elisson hijacks a nice photoshop with captions. Theeeeey're bad!

• "The Alpaca Burger Forum has never received an InstaLanche: While some may attribute this to a long succession of sucky posts, upon closer inspection we have determined it's because we are, in fact, a threat." [subliminal enough? -ed.]
  

  Glenn eats blogs like us for breakfast with a side of Jimmy Dean sausage links and a multivitamin. Mock lightly, ABF.
• A blogging lesson: Polite regulation of your comments won't generate much traffic. Posting a picture of yourself will.

• The Conservative Cat posts a picture of cute babies. There's also a story about a clown that teaches children how to gamble or something. I hated clowns.
• Brian J. Noggle tries to start an internet rumor. Super. I have no idea who Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour are.
• Top 10 lists are 'Old and Busted' but Norman gains some redemption at the expense of super-loon religion of choice, Scientology.

SUBMISSION WHORES - Rub it in, whydoncha!

• NickieGoomba manufactures some damn fine stamps. Who wouldn't pay $0.37 cents for a Taco Bell Chihuahua stamp?
• Andrew Ian Dodge at Dodgeblogium adds a post of thanks for those who were concerned about him the day of the London bombings. As Will Franklin says: Very classy...
• Speaking of Will, a fair number of readers of this post are quick to send rebuffing emails. Completion of the entire reading assignment reveals what Willisms.com regulars know - Quality commentary.
• John Bambenek submits a letter making himself eligible for the Supreme Court. I'd vote for him. I'd vote for him four times if I lived in Washington State.
• Rick at the Right Wing Nut House blogs the purge and de-purge of loons that infest Kos' bloghive. Markos had second thoughts after his readership went from 60,000 to 5.
  

That'll wrap up this week's most ill-conceived, give or take! Thanks for visiting this week's Bonfire!

There were a lot of submissions this week. I only trackbacked entries that sent me a trackback location in their email. If you'd like for me to add yours, email me at hoodlumman@gmail.com. Thanks!

Coming soon:
Week 107 (July 19) - Practical Penumbra
Week 108 (July 26) - Soldiers' Angel - Holly Aho
Week 109 (Aug 2) - Crystal Clear
Week 110 (Aug 9) - WunderKraut

Oh, and please feel free to submit the craziest of the crazy (by you or found elsewhere) to carnivalofcrazy@gmail.com!


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