The support of our movement is growing by leaps and bounds!Yesterday, I was a man with a dream. Today, I am a man with a dream and several people looking to profit from it. All is on schedule!
So let's run down what we have agreed on so far.
Drill ANWR, Post-Birth Abortions of Liberal college students, Regulate preschoolers with guns, tax cuts for us, Eat endangered species, free medical care is bad,no free speech for the opposition and down with those lawn flamingoes.
I can't stress that last one enough. I hate those things.
I also wish to announce the following appointments to my staff to be if I'm elected:
VP: Hoodlumman
Sec. Of the Interior: Geologist Dave, from here at work
Ambassador to the Cayman Island: Alan, also from work.
Sec. Of agriculture: Maggie
Sec. Of War and "blowing stuff up": Cullen, I expect great things from him
Official Limo driver: Zsa Zsa
The Gestapo... I mean, Director of Homeland Security: WunderKraut
The head of the Federal Reserve, and in a bold move, the SEC: Will
Sec of Liberal Re-education: Mr. Right
Attorney General: My mom, trust me on this.
Sec of education: Gail
All of these appointees guarantee me that any victory party, or possible loss, will be followed with an after party that will make Caligula's orgies look like a Baptist preschool pizza party with the pastor.
Remember folks, we are still passing out appointment under the "shotgun" rules. You call "shotgun" before anyone else and it's all yours.
Power to the People! And Death to all Flamingoes!
ROB B. IN 08
