Mayhem Grips FOXNews

FOXNews in full-blown panic response mode FP Beeville, IN - In a surprise twist, a man wanted in connection with a double homicide was found unexpectedly quick in Indiana today. David Ludwig was apprehended about "two months ahead of schedule," according to one FOXNews programmer, when he was taken into custody today at approx. 12:30PM EST. The suspect had with him, a young, teenage, white girl causing FOXNews to suspend all programming and working stories for the next 60 days. The crisis was in full swing after Fox had to scramble to cover the arrest and wrap-up for the man-hunt after allocating 94% of its resources to find out young, blonde, PA resident, 14-year-old Kara Beth Borden's vital stats, photos, report cards, relatives' testimonies, favorite food, color, animal, N*SYNC member and musical groups. There's also a rumor-buzz that the quick capture has also stalled contract agreements between FOXNews and Greta Van Sustren.