Signs that I am fully domesticated

I look at hot women and think "I wonder if she would let me watch the game in peace."

I know the tire pressure my kid's bikes.

I can find the Stayfree regular absorbance, unscented pads with wings on the fist pass on the asile.

I daydream about paying off credit cards.

I've measured my lawns sprinkler zones for coverage

I consider going to Home Depot and Starbucks a night out just because I don't have the kids with me.

I've seen every episode of Jimmy Neutron and Spongebob Squarepants that Nick has run in the last 3 years.

I yell at teenagers on the street in front of my house to "slow down" because it's "not the damn Indy 500 out here."

I consider all the kids sleeping to be "the signal."

My spouse considers all the kids sleeping to be "the signal... to go to sleep."

I tell my wife about oil and gas stuff when she asks me how my day was becuase I know I'm about to get a 15 minute update of her day, seeing as how that question really means "let me tell you how frusterated I got with your children today."

I hide any self-help, relationship or guidence book that crosses my door way before I have to answer a "hypothetical question."

The kids eat all the crumb creating foods on my side of the bed.

The infant can spit up on my shirt and I don't even flinch because I knew it was just a matter of time.

I have an outside broom and a inside broom.

Can anyone feel my pain? Anyone?