Caption contest !!

Caption This!

I like to think this was JR Ewing at age 13 but in reality, it's any male from ages 12 to deceased. Caption the picture...

The statistics are mounting ...

To the victor goes the spoil!

Dear readers, I'd have gotten the results back to you quicker but my request for favorites from the judges (Rob, Diana, Dave, JRE and myself), had some real lazy slackers hold up the show. Mainly me, but that's not important. Here we go - the winner of FIU's Third Annual Caption Contest and winner of $25 amazon.com bucks is: 2nd runner up: "GET IN MY BELLY!!!!" -Keith 1st runner up: "I said, I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU!"-Cullen Grand prize winner: Although at first only mildly upset about the missed call that cost his team the game, Cubs skipper Lou Pinella became irate when umpire Dave Johnson began taunting him over Sanjaya's disappointing finish on American Idol. -Buckley F. Williams. Thanks to all who participated and to those that disagree with the results, email all hatemail and complaints to jr_ewing_56@yahoo.com! Next year's contest is only 354 days away!!

We're Three!

**Stickied! Scroll down for new posts** Fileitunder.com is three today. I won't go into the history of the site, but for any regulars that haven't been here over a year, you can catch up on it right here. Ok... so maybe that isn't the most recent update but it's good enough... So... same show, different year! The prize: $25 to amazon.com. Rules - You must have a legit email (to email you the winning gift certificate). Employees of FIU are not eligible for the contest... EVERYONE ELSE is. No purchase necessary and enter as often as you like. This year's photo has potential: Good luck all and try not to get ejected. For those willing, spread the word! Contest ends 6PM Friday, June 8th.

We have a winner (x6)

st. "SON OF A BITCH! Why do i have to carry the French flag? " ~ Chuck nd. "Veni, Vici, VADER." I came, I saw, I am your father. ~ dorkafork rd. "Those are Saddam's virgins!" ~ Saddam and Gerald th. Illegal Aliens march on Washington again. ~ JR Ewing th . "As the first part of Palpatine's plot came together the citizens of Earth realized that the Empire wasn't really "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." ~ Dave Earney th. "In the deep south quadrant of the galaxy, they are feared as the Kenobi Klux Klan." ~ J Webb The good news is that all of you are getting one of those mp3 cards, the bad news is that Chuck gets bragging rights. The worse news is that, "yes, I've printed 6 reams, or 3000 sheets of paper worth or reports in the last 2 work days." I'll email the images of the cards and their codes today. Thanks for playing.

Caption contest!

For some reason "Vini, Vidi, Vici" isn't a good enough caption for me. So, if your caption is one of the winners I'll send you the info for 3 free mp3 downloads from emusic.com. Good luck captioning and may the force be with you.

My TPS report is your gain

I'm having to update a crap load of well files this week as a wonderful conversion to a new production software. Of course no new report merge is complete without generating a crap load of hard copies so I'm printing reports like Kim Jong prints counterfeit US money. In this process, I'm using up reams of HP paper. On said reams of paper are these nifty little cards from emusic.com that give you 3 free mp3 downloads. I'm not sure about you but "free" is always in my wheel house so I checked the thing out, downloaded the client and have now downloaded my three songs. (All three from Ian Astbury's solo album... He's the lead singer from the Cult... Ok, so I'm old) At any rate, I found out that these thing aren't cumulative so I can't stack them to get "a lot" of free. It's a "one shot" free. So, my loss is your gain. Tomorrow, I'll post a pic for a caption contest and pick as many winners as I have cards. Afterwards, I'll email the winners with the info from the cards and you can download your own free mp3s. See, that way I can make you happy while I suffer which will make me suffer less. It's a win-win situation. So check back tomorrow and caption your ass off.

Caption this...

Soledad Miria in the Carribean...

Caption Results

Thanks to all those that submitted captions for this one. This is probably the greatest photo I've seen all year. So here's the highlights from the captions submitted. Notables: After a fine meal of neon spaghetti, Joe washed down his Mentos dessert with Diet Pepsi. - Miss Cellania (for the reference to this quote, Google Diet Coke+Mentos When Roger refused to heed his wife's warning, he found out the true meaning of "If you shoot one more spitwad at me, I'm going to shove those crazy straws so far up your ass that you'll be able to taste them!! - compos mentis Gene Simmons speaks to reporters after touring Chernobyl - Ken S Bring on the gimp!!!! - Buckley F Williams Second runner up: Similar to a boa constrictor, Steve tries to swallow George Clinton whole. -Rob B First runner up: Jim's debate team finally convinced him that straw-man arguments suck. -JWebb Winner: Thomas decided to take literally the biblical admonition to "love one's anemones," but something went wrong.... RTO Trainer Head in their pants winners: Pretty much most of the others. Check them all out here.

The Rare FIU Caption Contest

Spread the word... this one should be good. First prize: Winning 1st place on a caption of that picture. Wow.

An FIU PSA

If Ken of it comes in pints? ever enters your caption contest, delete the entry immediately... and blame Blogger or Haloscan or something. Or just deem him winner and enter the FBI witness protection program.

We have a winner!

Wanna know why we only have one caption contest per year? Because a.) Judging them is a bitch, b.) There are awesome blogs that host weekly shenanigans and c.) it's entirely too difficult to sift through all the funny (see a.) But, lo, we have reached a consensus. But first, the honorable mentions: Sammy and Earl reenact one of their favorite scenes from Brokeback Oak Tree. ~ compos mentis "He's dead, Jim." ~ Mr. Right "Bitch, where's my money?" ~ Defender "Now, Monica...this is how we place the cigar!" ~ proofreader emeritus 2nd runner up: Although he dated frequently, Ike Turner's squirrel never did marry. ~ Buckley F. Williams 1st runner up: "And I shit you not...after I took the second Viagra, that bastard got THIS long!" ~ Julie Give the $25 and FIU threads to: "So, how many acorns would it take for this massage to have a happy ending? ~ compos mentis Thanks to everyone who participated and kudos to compos mentis for a photo well captioned.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!!

This post is stickied until the contest ends. Scroll down for new posts. Introducing the 2nd annual FIU Birthday Caption Contest. FIU turned two-years old Sunday and for our first birthday we had caption contest. In keeping with tradition (and friggin' busy schedules) we're going at it again. Last year we gave away $25 to amazon.com. This year in celebration of our b-day and 100k hits, we're doing the same but now we're throwing in clothing. FIU clothing. Rules - You must have a legit email (to email you the winning gift certificate). If you want the t-shirt/thong panties/coffee mug (your choice of one) you must live on planet earth. That's right, Rob has stated he will deliver anywhere (but not in person, ladies). Employees of FIU and their families are not eligible for the contest... EVERYONE ELSE is. No purchase necessary and enter as often as you like. This year's photo: This contest will run through midnight, June 15th. So, to review - if you win you get $25 bucks and FIU gear. For a review of last year's shenannigans, check it here. Thanks to everyone for making FIU a (semi)regular/search hit/lost? stop. Good luck and happy captioning!

Yay! (Bumped for link correction)

I've made it into the top 10 over at Punch's caption contest. This contest is no ordinary contest. Like our annual birthday caption, Ben is giving away a copy of Michele Malkin's latest book. So head on over and vote for your favorite. Voting is done by emailing Ben. One vote per day until Saturday... so it's like the Weblog awards but higher maintenance. Hopefully this time I'll do better than fourth...

Beginner's luck skill...

As a regular at Will's and Mr. Right's caption contests and a persistant non-shower at Wizbang's, I thought I'd try some others. So I followed Mr. Right's links to other contests... And it took me approximately one shot to nail down the OTB contest first. BURN! Hey, it's my blog - I can brag if I want to. Broaden your caption horizons - play Rodney's CC at OTB today!

It's a start...

After many attempts and what I thought were solid efforts, An FIU member has finally made a mention, at least, over at Wizbang's Wekend Caption Contest. I'm just glad that Laurence Simon didn't place again - I'm suspicious that there's some sort of cronyism going on with Kevin and that guy. Kudos to Rodney Dill, also - he's a regular participant over at Willisms.com contest where we at FIU tend to do much better. I'll keep stabbing at it hoping one day to make it above the fold.

Caption time

We rarely have caption contests here at FIU. Normally, we participate in Mr. Right's and Willisms caption contest, but this needs a caption. Let's find something worthy of this: The winner will get "respect." That and a quarter might buy you a rubber bouncy ball at the supermarket.

Returning to the Apex

FIU has returned to the top of Willisms.com's weekly caption contest. Check out this week's contest. That picture should result in some nice captions. Also check out Will's Carnival of Classy. There's some choice bits on MTV's Crock the Vote and Moveon.org.

The Right Caption

Results here. Sealing the fate of that contest in the comments section, here. Mr. Right's next contest is here. For Zsa Zsa: All your caption contests are belong to FIU.

Dominating the Dojo

This just in! It seems that Darius has pulled off a first place finish in Will's caption contest. The victory gives FIU three first places among it's three main contributors. (BTW, has Tom made it back from the store with our beer money, yet?) This also proves, once again, that we are incapable of proving anything once again unless it's proven before hand, in which case we can comment on it. And when we comment....Whoa Nellie! Good job, Darius! Way to close the trifecta.

Captioning First

After a few weeks off from our clean sweep, FIU finally returns to the Willisms.com Caption Contest perch. Also, check out Will's post on our goofy Texas governor here, mofos. FIU's history of caption destruction here, here and here.

Birthday Contest Results

We had a pretty good turnout for our birthday caption contest. We also had a good photo... Without further ado.. Second runner-up: Jeff G - ""Confusing a dead King Salmon for the mythical sword Excalibur, Howard Dean momentarily believed himself to be King of the World." First runner-up: JWebb, FIU Intern - "See?! I told you it wasn't a rolled-up sock!" And the winner of $25 to Amazon.com: Craig C - "Here's your goddamn salmon!!" REE REE REE REE... Honorable mentions go to Will Franklin - "Not only are we going to fish for king salmon," Dean said, "We're going to fish for Chilean sea bass...! And marlin! And tuna! And halibut! And carp! And herring! And mackerel! And then we're going to washour hands and take out for sushi. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggh!" Carin - "No, the smell doesn't bug me - I used to be an OB, you know." Gail (with, of course, the most intellectual and politically current caption) - "In the Democratic Party, the ritual of seppuku is rarely imposed. However . . ." Thanks again to everyone for playing and to those who stop by FIU on a daily basis. Congrats, Craig on your prize... Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery.

I bet everyone is waiting on the results, aren't they?

Caption contest judging is hard. And reconciling three judges takes time. So hold your damn horses and we'll have them posted ASAP. Try to predict the winner if you dare...

Deadline for Free Money

The deadline to enter the caption contest is tonight at 8PM CST. Entries time-stamped afterwards will be urinated on then reported to Newsweek. Remember, multiple entries are accepted and to enter a valid email address (the gift certificate will be emailed).

Happy Birthday, File it Under!

Today File it Under turns 1-Year old. It's our first blogiversary. [Keep reading to the bottom... you may like what you see.] A brief history of File it Under June 4th, 2004 - The inaugural post. Typical of your average blogger indeed. File it Under was originally called... something else. Hoodlumman's Commentary or something tool-tastic. It was created to comment almost exclusively on the "controversial" stock-exchange (since mothballed and all-but-abandoned) Terrorxchange.com , heretofore recognized as the 'TX'. All members of this blog - Tom, Rob, Darius and myself met via the TX and it's message board. Sporatic posting ensues during the summer of 2004. FIU comes close to being shuttered and abandoned. On October 7th, 2004 FIU underwent a format change. The format went from rarely posting about TX stuff to joining in the politics and current events fray. Sitemeter was also added that month so I could track how many times I hit my blog per day. Tuesday, November 4th, 2004... you know it as election day. I call it FIU's early shining moment. I "live-blogged" Texas' electoral votes. However, FIU got a then-to-date record number of hits and more than 10 comments in a single day. I later installed Haloscan to give me comment control and to offer trackbacks. Sadly, though all previous comments (approx. 15 or so) were lost. Tom and I were frequent email exchangers regarding events, blogs and the TX. On December 1st, Tom joined me at FIU. He had his own blog but liked the idea of a group blog. He then instantly inspired the only rule for FIU contributors - No cursing in the large font post titles. Tom added tons to FIU: double the content, more humor and web hosting/internet expertise. About one month later, we considered the idea of more consolidation. This time Rob B. was in our sights. Rob was a fellow TX junkie and he had his own blog, also. FIU wanted access rights to all that funny. After a unanimous 2-0 vote, we offered a non-hostile takeover bid for rights to Rob. He bit accepted. The idea for redesigning the look of FIU was floated by Tom in January. It was agreed to whole-heartedly. Not only did Tom revamp the look of FIU, he went out on his own and locked down our current html address. On January 27th, we pulled up shop from hoodlumman.blogspot.com to fileitunder.com. Before and after - night and day. We (TXers) all read STFU. It was ran by Darius and had lots of excellent, frequent posts on current events with brutal honesty and no pulled punches. Darius also had a steady group of readers, too. Unexpectedly, he went on unannounced blogging hiatus, causing me to email him inquiring his whereabouts. In a very flattering move, he offered an unsolicited request to join Tom, Rob and me at FIU. The honor was ours. On February 7th, Darius joined us. In April, Tom headed to bootcamp. He's rumored to check in August. We've kept his seat warm. There's been a lot in between. Thought provoking posts, humorous posts, moonbat run-ins and lots of weiner jokes. May was a breakthrough month regarding FIU traffic and content. We discovered last month that Rob is a photoshop pimp. Special thanks to Gail and her readers for sharing their time for the occassional FIU post. A big thanks to all who have trackbacked to us on their own (with additional thanks to Wizbang and IMAO for their carnival links and WILLisms.com for the frequent linkage). As a special THANK YOU to all, we've decided to give something back... Cash. Cold hard cash. A $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com to be exact. All you have to do is make some funny - our favorite pasttime. Nothing like a good ol' fashioned caption contest to celebrate a birthday. Yes, their everywhere but this one can win you money and they're something everyone can participate in. Rules - You must have a legit email (to email you the winnings) Employees of FIU and their families are not eligible for the contest... EVERYONE ELSE is No purchase necessary and enter as often as you like The contest will go through Tuesday the 7th with winners posted next Wednesday. Caption this... Howard Dean: the gift that keeps on giving And why not Howard? Have fun and thank you again...

And Again...

And for the second week in a row, File it Under shreds a caption contest. We took second and third and JWebb, on our behalf, took first with a deserved caption. Go check it out. Last week's results...