O! ...... um .... rocks?

Headline of the day:

Ok ... maybe a few days ago Great tits cope well with warming via

This is the stuff that makes me giggle ....

Is it over yet?

N S F W

Thanks to CJunk!

Ok, if you follow politics, you gotta see this...

You need to head over to Rob Port's Say Anything and watch this clip. It's classic.

Roughage ....

.. Makaniak (flashing badge): Don't worry ma'am, This isn't what it seems. I'm a policeman on assignment, and this is, um... wheat germ. ....... Heh.

The power of Delta

One of the things I like about learning all the new science stuff that taking on a new degree has facilitated is the additional ammo for humor. It's funny, because while it's freaking funny to watch Ben Stiller dance around in Zoolander there is also something pretty cool about the guy who builds and does this. Science doesn't really make things funnier, it just give you a broader base to work from and a finer knife to slice the irony with. This is why, last night, after the Michigan result were in and the pundits were droning on I kept referring to Mitt Romney as "Delta R." He had been talking all about "change" during the debates in SC and to a lesser degree in his speech. My wife has a science degree so she got the joke, and despite not being sucked into politics the way I am, she pointed out that "Delta O" (or Obama) might reach equilibrium with Delta R. The end result of this quipping was some wasted time and this:

Steak and potatoes

So, I'm a freak. I watched the debates today. (I Tivo'd them last night.) I wish to share a few random thoughts: ~ Romney "I wish we could debate the issues without the personal attacks, Senator." Dude! WTF? You're like the king of the attack ads right now. Your not only going "negative" but I thin you may have crossed the mathematical line into "imaginary numbers." Seriously, "log in your eye", "speck in your brothers eye." Google it. ~ I counted 3 times that a Candidate said "Fred is exactly right." I'm biased, but if he has those guys saying it... I'm just saying. ~ Ron Paul is like a broken watch, he's right two times a day. He actually made one point that made me say, "well at least he's not totally stupid" just in time for him to go totally stupid again. I thought he had got back on his meds. I guess not. ~ Rudy got the memo. More than one he managed to reference what he did without reminding us that he was "the mayor of New York." I know that he mentioned being mayor and he mentioned New York, which is fine because that is where a lot of his record comes from, but saying it like he's informing s of the fact like it's the first time we met him has finally died off. Kudos for that because I was a hairs breadth away from turning it into a drinking game. ~ McCain. My wife, who doesn't follow politics walks in and the first thing she says is "Wow, he doesn't look too good." She's a nurse. She meant it medically. GET MORE SLEEP. I don't support you but don't campaign yourself into the grave. ~ Huckabee actually out shrilled Ron Paul for a moment in there. You managed to dole out a few good mind vitamins in there but the cat fights showed your advisers influence and it doesn't mesh with the nice guy message. For those with political burnout, or just spare time, let me cut this political steak with this dose of weirdness. First, click here, it's a site where they hacked a "Bally Mouth Bass" with linux and the click the movies and do the Clinton one. If that doesn't make you laugh, I can't help you. Second, here's a old school smoking ad. It reminds me of the movie "Thank you for smoking" which is wicked funny. Watch the video and if you find it eerily amusing consider checking out "Thank you for smoking" the next time your at Blockbuster. See, so if the politics bore you, I've still provided a useful exchange of information. I consider that a win-win.

Sometimes I kick antpiles just because I can

One of my favorite scenes of cinema is from Braveheart. Sure that "they can't take our freedom" line is good and he says a lot of romantic stuff to the female lead but my favorite line was a throw away line. His friend calls to William Wallace, after his inspirational speech to the Scots, as he turns his horse out to the center of the field of battle. He says "Where are you going?" And Wallace replies, "I'm going to pick a fight." Well, I'm posting this to pick a fight. Just like Wallace rode out there and delivered stinging insults to taunt the generals into battle let me issue mine. Anyone that tries to "save the planet" is a fool. In fact, anyone that tries to save a species is an even bigger fool. The ebb and flow of popular ecological environmentalism is based off of equal parts of emotion and stupidity. This is evident in the hubris of it's presentation, the blind obedience of method and the willful ignorance of most of it's followers. As a result, it is an armchair pseudo-science that is fostered and manipulated by salesmen and politicians. The presentation of environmentalism to the masses has been marketed with all the sentiment of a Hallmark card in a shiny green envelope. The message underlying the efforts of environmental education to the public are variations of the following: "The earth is interconnected. X is an important thing. Your lifestyle/humans/energy/food/whatever is killing X. Your money can save X so you can be guilt free." The problem is that contrary to the picture that environmentalist paint, not all earth systems cooperative despite however much you give. Additionally, more often than not, it's not a single pressure kills of a species. More often than not, any species near the edge of dying was there for a reason besides us. More often that not, environmentalist never point out the humanistic moral query of consequence: Even if we can save, say the "Horned Owl", is it our place to? Environmentalist always talk about biodiversity as if its a good thing. After all, more types of bug lead to more evolution of bugs. Great. However, what if we save a species that would have died otherwise and then later discover that it spreads cancer? Was there a moral reason to save it? On the counter point, what if we save a bug that would have died otherwise and would have had it's niche replaced with a bug that adapted to fill that niche and in the effort of evolution generated a sting that cures cancer? Once again, was there a moral reason to save it? If the possible ability of the bug doesn't matter then we should be saving anything from our presence because we are part of the biota? If it does matter, then how do we account for the unintended consequences of preservation? Even deeper, who is to say that our efforts to save one species doesn't doom that species if there is an environmental change. Likewise, who is to say that in saving one species that we don't doom another? For that matter, the H-bomb of these questions is this, who is to say that the animal, and even the environment, need some form of salvation from our presence when they have preexisted our presence for billions of years? To say we are morally bound to tinker with life is an arrogance that knows no bounds. Another reason that environmentalism is a fools errand is that it has such a blind obedience to methodology that ignores basic thinking for emotional solutions. A perfect example is the Greenpeace movement and it's save the whales platform. Forgoing the basic question of whether the whales are suited to survive long term, we are struck with the more basic question: Why? Why save the whales? Just because we kill them? Is it because they are a needed component of the food net we are a part of? When asked people typically respond with discussion about the brutality of whaling or how docile and peaceful whales are. Right. Whales may be docile but then so are cows. If docility and the brutality of slaughter are the main reasons why not "save the cows." The reason is that whales, quite simply are foreign and evoke an emotional reaction. Cows are more common and evoke cow paddies. As Denis Leary pointed out, we only save the cute ones.( ahem...9:10 on the video) Additionally, why not save the killer whales? Oh yeah, because they are less cute and more "killer." This brings me to my final point. So many of the people that are clearly concerned with saving the environment are also clearly ignorant of the thing that live within it and their interactions. What they are sure about is that saving the planet is good, or at least it makes them feel good. Despite toxic air and global warming she seems to breath so well on the cold wintry day. Let's look at today's primary scare: CO2 driven global warming. If CO2 causes global warming, by trapping the sun's heat and all it takes is the exhaust from fossil fuel to shift the balance then we need to accept that we are more than likely already dead. Why? Because man made CO2 is just a fraction of total CO2. Most of our CO2 comes from volcanoes. That would suggest that we are just a few eruptions away from tipping the scale too far. But wait, there has been thousands of volcanic eruptions over human history and we are still here. Why? I suggest it's because of the fact that water vapor and CO2 and Sunlight, the three global warming culprits, are also the three things used in photosynthesis. It's called biofeedback and it works because plants can grow pretty fast. Environmentalism is, at it's essence, stupid. It is stupid because it presumes that we can stop change. It is stupid because it believes that we can deny entropy. It is also stupid because it believes that where we are right now is the best it can be, that we won't be forced to evolve by a planet that has a consistent history of forcing evolution and that we can control and predict a systems makeup thousands of years from now with technology that can't reliably predict the weather tomorrow. So why does it persist? It persist because it feels good to think that you are being moral. It persists because it's a wonderful political point to say you are "for the earth" because who really wants to campaign as being "against the earth." It persists because most people don't want to understand the world around them, they just want things to stay the same. And as long as that continues, the Al Gores of this world will continue to whip up fear over a process that very few every truly investigate while he makes investments in the green technologies. I guess that saving the earth is in every body's best interest but some of us profit off of it more than others.

Hey Hood

When you got tagged was it anything like this...

If you don't know Rodger....

then you don't know to roll your mouse over his photos. Like this Or this

Do you ever really read the protest signs

Just saying

An Inside joke

There has been a increase of internet chatter on the flamingo front. We'll be watching. (for reference: here and here and here and here an here and here and here. )

The whole Kathy Griffin thing

In case you haven't heard, let me throw out the celebrity news shocker of the day. LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Comic Kathy Griffin's "offensive" remarks about Jesus at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards will be cut from a pre-taped telecast of the show, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences said on Tuesday. Griffin made the provocative comment on Saturday night as she took the stage of the Shrine Auditorium to collect her Emmy for best reality program for her Bravo channel show "My Life on the D-List." "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus," an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now." Since that, there have been several people on either sides of issue try to fight to claim the moral high ground on this. Some call it a point of free speech. You also have some calling for her job and equating this to the Imus thing or the Micheal Richards outburst or Eddie Griffen having the mike cut on him at the BET show by Rev Al Sharpton for dropping the N-word. The truth of the matter is that this isn't the same. Any one that thinks it is, is fooling themselves. Any person that is really honest in their assessment of American culture has to accept that we are no longer a Christian nation. Christians are not part of the grievance narrative. We're not going to get equal consideration. We can't expect any reverence from anyone. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. Yes, millions go to church and affiliate themselves as "Christians" in the polls but this country has no claim to the title of "christian." Why would I say that? The proof is in our culture for everyone to see. Pick almost any social ill effecting the US and it's against Jesus' teaching. Drugs, teen pregnancy, gay marriage, corruption, ect. Everything we deal with has a moral component to it that is covered by the concepts that Jesus gave. Our society has decided instead that what they want is more important than what Christ said was right. Sure, Jesus said not to be a drunk but I feel like tying one one and as a result we have drunk drivers. Sure Jesus said that sex should only be between a man and his wife but I can screw whenever I like so as a result now we have sexual abuse, kiddie porn, AIDS and gay sex in airport bathrooms. The list goes on and on and each time we see a social ill, it crosses the line at the point where people decide what they want is more important than what's right. I'm not immune. I do stupid things that I know for a fact are wrong all the time. As a result the society stands back and yells "Ha ha, you're a hypocrite! See, we can do our own thing because you Christians can't even follow you're own guy's rules." If justification is all they are looking for that's fine. They'd find a way to rationalize it anyway. The point they miss is that even when God's followers don't follow His guides what happens? Pain, heartache and loss. If anything, it proves the point. He gave us those rule to help us because he loves us but people think they don't need Gods love. The want their freedom from morality more. The moral vacuum left is the interesting thing to watch. I doubt that Kathy Griffin was shocked that her statement would offend people. In fact, I'm betting that she hoped that it would. By being intentionally rude, she got publicity and increased her standing in Hollywood by being an "edgy comedian" who is unafraid to take on the social taboo of religion. Of course, that's BS. If she had guts, she would have mocked Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Global Warming, MLK and an entire pantheon of other religious and quasi-religious entities. Of course, in 20 seconds, that's a long joke. She knew Jesus was a safe shot because what's Jesus' rep? He forgives, right? You crack that joke with Allah and you better start checking your car for bombs. So what should be done? How should Christians react to this? My personal response is to say "who cares." Kathy Griffin may or may not believe in God and, by extension, Jesus. If she does, I hope that she realizes that she just put a stumbling block in front of a lot of people. If she doesn't, I hope that she rides her new found fame to the inspiration of reading more bible to get better researched jokes. I'm a pretty firm believer that most resist doing that because they fear conversion and they should. However, for us, Protesting her doesn't show God's love. Quite to the contrary, it just validates the whole group that are looking for an excuse in Christan behavior to rationalize doing what they want. If anything, we should pray for her. It would be a sad existence to actually have an award be your God. Validation from a statue has a historic element, to be sure, but most of them end up museums. They also don't love you and if Jesus took the nails for Kathy, he can tolerate her insults long enough to tell her that he loves her. Someday, she might get that.

Da gay guy, da lesbian chick and the straight male: things I've noticed over time that make more sense now that I'm domesticated

Gay. The GAY. The gayness that is "gay." These things happen in our world and for some of us we simply just don't get it. How it works? Why? Mostly, why I should even care? I profess, I'm sure that there are people with PHD's that can argue the mental, social and biological nuances of the matter in grand detail, citing many factors and studies with flair and panache normally reserved for bull fighters and Broadway musicals. I also profess, I'm not one of those people. All I got is some limited personal experience, a shit load of pop culture references and the keys to the blog. However, that being said, I can speak toward the habits and tendencies and culture that I am a part of: The straight male that is and has been off the market for so long that you watch other peoples dating interactions with the same detachment I have when watching the Discovery channel. For us, homosexuality is divided down two lines. Those points of division being gay men or gay women. Speaking from my experience most gay men are truly an afterthought 99% of the time to a straight man. Typically, they are just "the guy I didn't have to compete for girls against." As an art student, I met more than enough gay men to know that truthfully it's almost easier to function around them, as opposed to other guys. If they aren't interested in you and you aren't offensive to them, everything after that is either defined as friendship or generally ignoring the other person but it's even more neutral than with a straight guy because you didn't even have to compete with them. Now, there are the macho types that feel threatened by gay men but once again, I got no experience there so I can't comment on it. Lesbians, on the other hand, are totally different. It's harder to explain that dynamic because take any lesbian couple and separate them and you have a girl, which guys are attracted to. Stick them back together and you have 2 girls which your twice as attracted to (do the math) but there is suddenly a competition element. The odd dynamic also occurs in that with competition, but two targets, it's twice the payoff and twice the chance to score with the outside possibility of scoring both. Add to that, the competition is emotional (not our key attack route anyway) and not physical. Trying to explain to a straight girl the attraction that guys have with lesbians is a little more than difficult. Simply put, and probably equally unintelligible, to most guys girls are like Voltron. The more of them you pile on the cooler it is. Also, as a straight guy you're walking around with the biological equipment that they end up buying at novelty stores and Internet sites anyway. And then there is this: Funny, but true. So where does this leave us? Well, for the straight males I know, we mostly don't care. The key reason is perspective. Any sex that the gay community is having, either side, is still sex that isn't getting me any, so I really could care less. I'm too busy trying to defuse the home situation each day after work, put kids to bed, pass classes, pay bills and give my wife a long enough break in her day that she actually feels like having sex before she falls asleep watching HGTV.

Why Baptists don't like "modern dance"

Irreverent, but funny.

You reap what you sow

From the Help.com Post topic: "global warming will kill us all, so why should i go to school?" Joh ~ Hey, global warming won’t happen for a long time yet, so make the most of your education. It will help, trust me. I see your point, but make most of the time we have left, but i think your using it as maybe an excuse to get away from school, nice try! But make the most of life, people could say i’m not going to work/school! But in the end we all die, MAKE THE MOST OF LIFE my friend. Do well at school! Arnday ~ I like this guys excuse, good idea, drop out, free yourself, lead a better life. Educate yourself in what you love, not state preparation for miserable jobs. 2Sweet 2pick i guess ~ are you serious anonymaously! go to school!! you will regret it in the end if you don’t!! get educated and then when that is over its your choice what to do then!! Live your life to the fullest you only have 1 chance but you can change it at anytime you want! Arnday ~ Its hardly irresponsible. Young people clearly have enough intelligence to work out the decision for themselves im simply promoting an alternative, a job isnt everything. There are plenty of other ways to make money, whether that be via crime, or via communal support, he could go elsewhere in the world and reinvent himself, the education system is hardly for everyone. the_girl_you_knew ~ are you seriously suggesting crime is a legitimate method of making money? Arnday ~ I am, crime pays does it not, just have to steal from the right people thats all, the rich in this world have taken money from the vunerable by underhand means, I see no reason it cant be taken back by similar means. Not bad advice, eh? Well, let me try to answer the query of "global warming will kill us all, so why should i go to school?" You don't really need to go to school. What you need to do is join up with Al Gore's super secret Earth defense squad. The paramilitary training they will give you will be invaluable in beating back the CO2 horde's imminent attack. Also, watch a lot of post apocalyptic movies like Cyborg with Van Damme, Escape From New York and of course Battlefield Earth. Then model everything that you do off the screen lives of those characters. (I'd have suggested Waterworld or the Postman but Kevin Costner would turn you into a pussy.) Then make sure you stock up on rocket launchers because you're gonna need them. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS: DON'T EXHALE The CO2 in your very body could turn against you. Seriously, bro, the life you save could be your own. So until the CO2's attack, stay hard. Actual simulated image of a CO2 attack

WOW...

I was google searching for WW2 propaganda posters today, mostly because I think they're cool, and I found a site that had me laughing hard. This guy is a progressive cartoonist who is less than impressed with the Democratic party. I can empathize. As a Conservative Christian the Republican party doesn't exactly roll the way I want all the time. Unlike him, though, I haven't made nifty posters. Let me just take a moment to say, from across the aisle, "That's pretty funny." Props to the guys at www.sinkers.org I may not be on the same wavelength as far as political theory but I have to respect the humor.

Fighting the burn

Politics has me a little torched out. I'm glad I'm not in class right now because work has gotten a little weird. I have a new "above me but not my boss" person to break in. (I'm sorta the community bitch in my office.) Mostly, over all I just feel weird. SO, I'm going to post a little random. It might suck, but then you guys don't have to read it. I figure that it's better than nothing and a lot better than just wigging out. So here is a video to a song that I made out with a girl to once. I'm not sure why but it's just one of those things that sticks with you. I think it's because the girl looked a lot like Bjork and the song was Bjork. She was a really short girl, like 5'2'. For the record, I'm like 6'2". In the end we only went out twice because her dad was Thai and he didn't want his daughter to date white guys. Great plan moving to Dallas, Einstein. Here is a video of my favorite group doing what was their best song in the Early 90's. It was the song we were playing the night that we were throwing water balloons into the lowered pickups of all the "cool kids" outside of the Taco Bell. They, of course chased us, but when they are in a lowered truck and I am in a jacked up truck "terrain" is the name of the game. Not the smartest thing i ever did, but damn fun. Here is the song that I danced to the night that I went to an episcopal camp and was "the guy" to dance with at their dance. Was I a good dancer? Hell no. I'm baptist, I can't dance to save my life. But as the "baptist guy" there, I was the poor mans substitute for the "bad boy" at a church camp full of Episcopal girls who had gone to the same camp with the same guys for years. A lot of those girls felt it was their destiny to rebel against their parents by kissing "the baptist guy" at camp, so who was i to stand in the way of progress and rebellion and the like? Finally, this was the song, or at least the music, that made me wish that I played guitar. It's from the movie Crossroads. This scene is at the end where Ralph Macchio plays (actually Ry Cooder plays the guitar for his parts) against the Devil's guitarist (Steve Vai) for the soul of his friend who had traded it to the Devil way back when at the crossroads for a "mojo hand." So now, you've had a small exposure to musically odd Rob. I'll cap this with a song that I want to dedicate to all the ladies.

Recollections

When I was in high school, we took a "creativity test." It was a deal cooked up by a local college that asked a series of questions designed to measure problem solving ability, observation style, logic and application of creativity based against a sample of like aged and educated people. So I remember sitting there in my art class pounding through this "there are no wrong answers" test that was supposed to let me know how "creative" I was. The tests were taken and the tests were sent off. About a month later we received the results of the test, with a qualitative write up explaining what the individual scores meant and what they cumulative effect of your scores meant. As a teen who was into art and planning to go to college and major in art, I was really interested to see what this test said. Supposedly, this was a bleeding edge test that gave you incredible insight as to how and why your brain worked creatively the way it did. As I looked over the results, I was extremely happy as all my scores were very high numbers. In each section I was above the 90th percentile. My immature little quasi-man ego was stoked and I thought "Dude, I'm a creative superstud." This belief was short lived. In the qualitative section, the sum effect of my scores, boiled down to this, paraphrased here for you now: "This individual shows a high degree on nonlinear thinking skills and a high degree of perception, combined with an extremely high crossover score in logic and problem solving. The percentages suggest that the amount of mental process crossover is abnormal and we suggest that they be tested for autism or for the potential of schizophrenia. In both cases, future mental instability has a high correlation to scores at this level." Being told that your probably a nut, or at least going to become one, has a memorable effect on you. However, I don't take that test all that seriously then or now, all these years later. I'm pretty sure that if I was going to snap, I'd have done it by now. Still, just in case, if I do snap my plans are to endlessly repeat something like this: "At the doorway of his wigwam Sat the ancient Arrow-maker, In the land of the Dacotahs, Making arrow-heads of jasper, Arrow-heads of chalcedony. At his side, in all her beauty, Sat the lovely Minnehaha, Sat his daughter, Laughing Water, Plaiting mats of flags and rushes Of the past the old man's thoughts were, And the maiden's of the future. " It's from Hiawatha by Longfellow. I figure that nothing is creepier than saying something that isn't really creepy over and over until it seems creepy if your going to be a crazy old guy. Besides, it has "chalcedony" in there, which would be a little mineral collecting thing so it could be, you know, personal. Now if you guys have any suggestions for other crazy stuff to mutter, I'm open for suggestions because it's not like i want to hog all the credit and it never hurts to be prepared before one might snap. After all, let's be pragmatic, you need a good plan. Of course, if my phone rigns one more time with one more stupid question from the same stupid person at the same stupid computer with the same stupid problem, I might need to act crazy as a defense for my trial.

Thar's some sweet justice in them thar hills ...

As imagined by Melissa Leong, National Post

Friday's free moment of introspection

Answer the following questions and then read about your type. 1. You are not a parrot, you have your own point of view. Yes....... go to number 2 No....... go to number 8 2.You prefer a star-shaped to a heart-shaped necklace. Yes....... go to number 3 No....... go to number 9 3. You are not interested in dolls or robots. Yes.......go to number 4 No....... go to number 11 4.You have little interest in Chinese traditional clothing. Yes....... go to number 5 No....... go to number 11 5. You have red clothing in your wardrobe Yes....... go to number 6 No....... go to number 12 6. You would like to apply for a job which requires experience. Yes....... go to number 7 No....... go to number 13 7. Your friends like to get along with you because you are a reliable person. Yes.......Type A No....... Type B 8. You have short hair. Yes.......go to number 2 No........go to number 15 9. You think your skin complexion is not fair enough. Yes....... go to number 3 No.......go to number 16 10. Which kind of flowers do you like most? A. sunflower .......number 14 B. wild chrysanthemum.......number 11 11. You are a conscientious student/employee. Yes.......go to number 5 No.......go to number 17 12. You have no interest in crafts recently. Yes....... go to number 6 No.......go to number 18 13. You are an easygoing and friendly person. Yes....... go to number 7 No.......go to number 19 14. You don't mind sleeping together with a group of people of the opposite sex on the same bed. Yes....... Type A No.......go to number 20 15. You would choose sports as your major extra-curricular activities. Yes.......go to number 9 No.......go to number 21 16. You are fond of math and science subjects. Yes....... go to number 10 No.......go to number 22 17. You like orange more than red. Yes....... go to number 12 No.......go to number 24 18. You like mountains more than oceans. Yes.......go to number 13 No.......go to number 25 19. Whenever someone is better than you at something, you get irritated and uncomfortable. Yes.......go to number 14 No.......go to number 26 20. You don't mind talking and laughing loudly in the public. Yes.......Type B No....... Type C 21. You always tidy up your own room. Yes.......go to number 16 No.......go to number 28 22. You like watching TV programs related to sports. Yes....... go to number 23 No.......go to number 29 23. You think pure friendship cannot exist in between opposite sexes. Yes....... go to number 10 No.......go to number 17 24. You would like to learn cooking. Yes....... go to number 18 No.......go to number 31 25. You have a lot of interest in the "internet". Yes....... go to number 19 No.......go to number 32 26. What kind of persons do you favor most? A. Sporty..................go to number 20 B. Mature..................go to number 39 27. You would like to wear clothes which are specially designed to impress others. Yes.......Type B No.......Type D 28. You like dogs more than cats. Yes.......go to number 22 No.......go to number 34 29. You usually carry perfume when you go out. Yes.......go to number 30 No.......go to number 35 30. You like the moon more than sun. Yes....... go to number 23 No.......go to number 24 31. You change your hair style frequently. Yes....... go to number 25 No.......go to number 37 32. Serving others make you busy. Yes.......go to number 26 No.......go to number 38 33. Your hair is always untidy. Yes....... Type C No.......go to number 27 34. You are afraid of cooking. Yes.......go to number 29 No.......go to number 35 35. You have quite a lot of ornaments. Yes.......go to number 36 No.......go to number 37 36. You like shopping during holidays. Yes....... go to number 37 No.......go to number 31 37. You will go and take a portrait in the future. Yes.......go to number 32 No.......go to number 38 38. You are not fussy about the pattern and cut of your underwear. Yes....... go to number 39 No.......go to number 40 39. You have no interest in crafts making. Yes....... go to number 27 No.......go to number 33 40. You follow the fashion trend on clothes. Yes.......Type C No.......Type D Analysis Type A: Outgoing type You are an outgoing and cheerful person. Although you can still sometimes get frustrated you get through the hard times easily. Your friendly personality is your strong point in the eyes of the opposite sex, but this makes your partner feel insecure. (and you think that Scarlett is overrated because she's a vapid blond that degrades the value of otherwise perfectly OK blonds with her very existence. ) Type B: Artistic type You love caring for others. People find it comfortable talking to you and this enables you to gain their trust. Your personality usually leaves a good impression on those of the opposite sex who are sentimental. (and your not really impressed with Scarlett's intellect, or lack thereof, which has been favorably compared to that of "slime mold", although it has been scientifically proven that slime mold is smarter.) Type C: Lovable type You are regarded as a little sister/brother in the eyes of the opposite sex. You are usually dependent on others and tend to rely on the opinions of other people. Among the 4 types, your type favors marriage the most. The first impression you give to the opposite sex is your sympathetic appearance and character. This may account for the reason why others are eager to offer you protection and security. (with the exception of Scarlett, which is fine with you because you find her to be a bit "skanky." In this case skanky being defined as "even Brittany Spears c-section scar has dissed her.") Type D: Charming type Among the 4 types, your type possesses the most charming beauty. The sexy charm that you possess attracts other people's attention and helps you gain popularity. You are advised to be cautious when other people flatter you too much. (unless that person is Scarlett, because you know that you look better than her and that she and Lindsay Lohan just did lines off of a crack head in the back alley.) Personally, I find this personality quiz to be really insightful and I can't wait until Hood takes it. Soon-to-be-Mrs-Hood can thank me for steering him of the "coke head, skank, blond, slime mold path" later. I consider it a public service.

How to highly annoy your liberal professor 101

The next time you liberal professor goes on a "ChimpyBushHilterMcHalliburton" tirade, show him this: And then remind him that the people quoted here: a.) Vote Republican b.) Reproduce at a 7 to 1 ratio to his "enlightened pro-choice lesbian friends" c.) Aren't forced to "listen to his rants in this class because they don't care about their grade." This technique can lead to lower grades, but in turn you recieve amusement offsets o'plenty.

Viral!

Catch the fevah! Update:

Random Stories of no importance

Back in my young college days, I did electrical work in order to get through school with some cash. We did mostly industrial and school bids. So i had to learn stuff like how to bend conduit, wire lights/switch gears/plugs/motors/transformers and other electrical stuff like that. Now, dumping essentially a smart ass college kid into a manual labor job with the work rate professional construction people is dangerously stupid. The first reason is that a lot of electrical work is standing around waiting for some one to get finished. The second reason is that professional workers work at Union speeds because this actually "is" their job. As a result, me and my college aged friends goofed off on the job, a lot. To waste time we can up with lots of little games. We played games like "kick the hard hat." It's pretty much a full contact game of 1 on 1 of trying to kick the hard hat in under 8 seconds. Nothing too complex but incredibly fun if your bored and you don't mind getting thrown into walls. We also used wire connectors and conduit and sheet rock screws to make blow dart guns. Take that and a compressor and you had a nice game of general target practice. Essentially, everything turned into a game or joke of some type. It was the only way to deal with the boredom or the heat or in some cases the fiberglass dust that was making you itch all over as you drug piping through humid, 110 degree crawl spaces under the fiberglass shingle making machines. The most famous, and infamous, trick/game was the ole "throw the rock's/bricks at the port-o-potty" game. It went like this, taking a trip to the port-o-crapper pretty much assured you that while you were in the plastic casket of death that we were going to throw rocks and bricks at the top in the hopes of one of two options: the first is that you could puncture one of the top side windows, which earned you some respect. The second was the ever rare "down the drain pipe" shot in which you actually landed a rock down the pipe they drained the port-o-poopers from. The typical tossing difference was about from 30 to 40 feet away. The main reason i mention that is that for some reason, and I really don't know, i remember the day that my friend drained a half brick from about 35 feet out right down the drain pipe on a Guatemalan guy and you could actually see a "blue water" splash back fly up in the little windows at the top from it's entry. That's made me laugh all day. Construction games are fun.

Football Jokes

I know that most of you aren't folloing football (soccer) but I wanted to share a few jokes so as to increase our abilities for US/ euro relations. Q: If you see a Liverpool Fan on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him? It might be your bike... Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control? A: Their personalities. Q. You're trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a deadly Rattlesnake, and an Man Utd Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A. Shoot the Man United Fan. Twice. Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan? A: Skid marks in front of the dog. Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool... Newsflash: Thieves broke into the home of a Liverpool fan and stole two books. "The thing that upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!" Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words? A: A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Man Utd. A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?" "Because he beats me" said the little boy. "Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge. Because she beats me aswell. "Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?" The little boy replied" I would like to live with Southampton FC, because they don't beat anyone!!" A Rangers and Celtic fan get into a nasty car accident. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Celtic fan says, "So you're a Rangers fan, that's interesting. I'm a Celtic fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." The Rangers fan replied,"Totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" The Rangers fan went on, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?" He hands the bottle to the Celtic fan who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the Rangers fan. The Rangers fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands back to the Celtic fan. The Celtic fan asks, "Aren't you having any?" The Rangers fan replies, "Nah...I think I'll just wait for the police......"

Flipping the switch

This is on the personal side but I figure that if you guys can't handle that by now then your truly out of luck. Every once in a while, I just get in that mood and this is the result. A week or so ago I just had a meltdown on here. As far as melt downs go, I think it was my first "virtual" meltdown, so I guess that's something. This is tied to some issues in meat space, as opposed to the virtual world. Unfortuently, it's nothing really exotic or interesting because that would be blog worthy. In fact, it's normally getting buried under piles and piles of minute annoyances that makes me snap. But, for what it's worth, there is a reason that I own a sword. I earnestly wish that life was cut and dry enough that when difficulties arose you could just grab the sword off the wall and stride into battle. Sure, I accept that I might lose or that I might get maimed but I'd almost perfer it to this politically correct BS world we live in. Really, what guy dreamed about saving his wife from the dreaded "dishonest mechanic" by "talkinging harshly to the manager" and "threatening to call the better business bureau?" It's things like this that suck the soul right out of modern man. It's pathetic. So for what it's worth in this shades of grey, half assed, world of "Starbucks and sales calls" where the women try to be men because they can't find a man around, can we all agree on one thing: When I snap and go full sword swinging assault on the headquarters of a HMO corporate office, can we all agree to call me a visionary, at least in front of the kids. Seriously, who doesn't want a piece of the high dollar interviews that come with a sword swinging health care rampage? Just protect the narrative people that way my wife can make som serious grip off the movie rights.

Now that Hood is going to get hitched

....i feel safe posting this.

We're Three!

**Stickied! Scroll down for new posts** Fileitunder.com is three today. I won't go into the history of the site, but for any regulars that haven't been here over a year, you can catch up on it right here. Ok... so maybe that isn't the most recent update but it's good enough... So... same show, different year! The prize: $25 to amazon.com. Rules - You must have a legit email (to email you the winning gift certificate). Employees of FIU are not eligible for the contest... EVERYONE ELSE is. No purchase necessary and enter as often as you like. This year's photo has potential: Good luck all and try not to get ejected. For those willing, spread the word! Contest ends 6PM Friday, June 8th.

An FIU Original - The Durrant Blues

To be sung to the tune of "True" by Spandau Ballet Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Great year....... Made the sweet six-teen..... No wait we didn’t, we lost to USC. But I’ll show them when I go Pro, One eighty-five pounds, I can’t go. (One eighty-five pounds) Rick Barnes said questioning my strength, Meant that people were stupid. Why do I find it hard to listen to him whine? When I should have worked out some more....... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know this much is true. Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I’ll still go number two. Doesn’t matter and my arms are too long To bench my weight, not even close to once. Hope lane agility gets me past. No wait I’m almost dead last. (I’m not that fast) First pick is slipping from my hands, And Oden looks thirty now. I tore up college ball but I tell you what, I wish that I would have worked out....... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know this much is true. Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah We don’t lift weights at t.u. *break* Rick Barnes said questioning my strength, Meant that people were stupid. Why do I find it hard to listen to him whine? When I should have worked out some more....... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know this much is true. Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I’ll still go number two. I know this much is........ I’ll still go number....... Two. I know this much is...... I’ll still go number....... Two. I know this much is...... We don’t lift weights at....... t.u. I know this much is...... I’ll still go number....... Two. Here's what Texags had to say about Kevin...

Contrast and comparison

Today's Comparison is "1997 Rob" vs "2007 Rob" Pets: 97 Rob: A EL Salvador Blue Iguana named "Vader" 07 Rob: A SPCA dog named "Trinity" Largest Concern: 97 Rob: Scoring with my girlfriend 07 Rob: Scoring with my wife after the kids are in bed and the infant is asleep and the bills are paid and the trash is out, ect, ect... Biggest problem: 97 Rob: School is tough, work doesn't pay enough, my car is beginning to act funny and I think I'm losing my hair 07 Rob: School is tough, work doesn't pay enough, my car is beginning to act funny and I know I'm losing my hair What I do for fun: 97 Rob: Hanging out with my girlfriend or friends, sharking pool, playing hockey, cycling, rollerblading, swimming, camping, video gaming, reading, watching sports, seeing movies, playing cards and drinking. 07 Rob: Hanging with the wife and kids, video games, watching sports segmented by Tivo pauses, video games and trying to score with my wife after the kids are in bed and the infant is asleep and the bills are paid and the trash is out, ect, ect... My advice to the "youth of America" 97 Rob: Be true to yourself and follow your dreams and you'll find happiness 07 Rob: Quit acting like retards My politics: 97 Rob: Well, you shouldn't really tell people what to do so I err towards the side of individual freedom. 07 Rob: Less government, less taxes, less social programs, pro-life, pro-US, capitalistic, Conservative, theo-con. Message to the President: 97 Rob: Get your head out of your ass. 07 Rob: Get your head out of your ass.

Ecards

Since Hood gave you the Seal Generator, I might as well pass along this. It's a nifty collection of ecards you can send.