Evel Canuck

This is the sort of picture that you should always keep hidden from your mother.

And then there were breastses ...

MT. LAUREL, N.J. – The Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA), which represents the leading manufacturers of baby bottles in the United States, stands by the scientific research indicating that plastic baby bottles are safe. JPMA supports the rigorous scientific evaluation process of the National Toxicology Program’s (NTP) Center for the Evaluation of Risks to Human Reproduction. Does anyone ... anyone .... remember when we suckled our young? h/t Did I win?

Congrats are in order...

Say hello to Layla Sophia Port.

The Chronicles of WunderKraut

Mike @ Wunderkraut has been in China for about a week now bringing his adopted Chinese baby back to the states. If you've got time to spare, go on over and keep scrolling. There's much more on the next page, too.

AN Exclusive FIU Parenting PSA

Parenting 101: Baths In this exclusive video, see my cute baby boy have fun and learn about bathtub safety in a meaningful way. (Also, this is FIU's first all nude video. I'm just saying.)

So, so wrong ...

(h/t the Riddler)

The day after

Christmas was truly fun. Long, but truly fun. It was our youngest son's first Christmas and he was in rare form. He terrorized the presents at the base of the tree, played with every light flickering, developmental noisemaker he was given and managed to puke on my new shirt. (Sorry mom, at least it didn't stain.) Son number two gained this years honors for the largest, loudest, most assembly required toy with a race track designed to wreck 5 simultaneously racing cars. It's a horrific mess to construct but even I have to admit that its like candy coated, kid violence crack on a stick. My eldest was most impressed with the grandstand gift of a PS3. We had a PS2 but it seems that Santa came in the night and replaced it with a PS3. The cool part is that I have on video the delayed reaction where he sees the PS3 game in his stuff, picks it up, realizes that it's for the wrong game system, then looks at the TV and sees the new game system and then flips out. It's classic. I may have to post it on youtube and link it because the body language is priceless. As far as the wife, I got her some nifty work out clothes and I'm getting her lasik. I think shes a little more excited about the lasik but I can't see why. I thought all those people with contacts actually liked them. I mean, how should I know, I'm compelled to wear coke bottle glasses but that's neither here nor there. As far as me, I got some really cool and thoughtful gifts that show that, despite the fact I'm a pain in the ass to shop for, the people that know me pay attention and know how to find the random odds and ends that make me say "Frickin sweet." I mean, I got a 22oz Rock hammer, a Jack Black movie and a pen that has a measuring tape built in. You can't touch me because that, my friends, is the shiz-nit. Of course, you really have to know me well to get that unlike some of the sarcasm laden stuff I write, I really mean it. But enough about me, how was your Christmas? (Oh, and do you want some ham because we have a load of ham left.)

Two Tickets To China

Mike "WunderKraut" has a blog post up detailing his soon to be completed quest to adopt a Chinese baby. He and his wife need two plane tickets to bring Mei Elyse Talley back to the states. Give it a read and if you have a few extra bucks (tax deductible) you'd like to donate, please do.

Frickin sweet

As a dad to 3 boys, I often bemoan society today and the general wussification of the American male. To be sure, we still have our moments in today's culture. We can always fall back on sports to teach boys to suck it up. Additionally, there is always a place in our collective hearts for the military. Still, between these things we have lost a lot of ground. However, it's stuff like this that makes me smile. Dewitt - Yesterday in Arkansas County, and Arkansan killed a black bear weighing more than 400 pounds. And what really makes the story amazing is that the hunter was just a boy – a kindergarten boy. (Tre Merritt, Five-year-old Hunter) "I was up in the stand and I seen the bear. It came from the thicket and it was beside the road and I shot it." Tre’s grandfather was in the stand with him at the time. He says Tre did it all by himself. (Mike Merritt, Tre’s Grandfather) "He came in about 40 to 50 yards and when he got in the open. I whistled at him and he stopped and I said, ‘shoot Tre.’" And that’s just what Tre did. He fired his youth rifle. (Mike Merritt, Tre’s Grandfather) "I said, ‘Tre, you missed the bear.’ He said, ‘Pawpaw I squeezed the trigger and I didn’t close my eyes. I killed him."’ The bear turned out to be 445 pounds. Twelve times the size of Tre. Mike Merritt said tears rolled down his cheeks when he found out his grandson killed the enormous bear. (Mike Merritt, Tre’s Grandfather) "His 10th great-grandfather was Davie Crockett. And Davie supposedly killed him a bear when he was three. And Tre is five and really killed a bear. I really doubt if Davie killed one when he was three." Tre’s dad says he started teaching his son to shoot when he was just 2 ½ years old and last year, Tre killed three deer. The family plans to get a life-sized mount of the bear. But they’re not yet sure where they’ll put it. That kid, no matter what else happens, is going to grow up knowing two things. The first is that his Dad and his grandfather are proud of him. The second is that in the pecking order of nature he was dominate at the age of 5. You think that's a petty thing? Bullshit. I know grown men that can't buy, sell, earn, work for, do enough or be enough to earn their father's respect. The result of that is that it consumes them and more often than not they don't even realize it. They will drive themselves into the ground for that approval. Meanwhile, this kid will always have this bear mounted, sitting in the house with the built in story attached. A sotry that includes the words "we were so proud." The other thing, and this isn't PC either, this kid will never be part of the "Al Gore's nature lovers fan club for testosterone deficient children" because he already gets that nature is his bitch. I know people don't like to hear it but humans are apex predators because of our evolutionary advantage of tools and tech. Believe me if Sharks came with laser beams, they wouldn't think twice about using them and neither should we. Sure, we live in a world with enough advancement that a man can eat one million steaks and never kill one cow but out there in the fields is that one man that knows all this bovine is is a New York strip waiting to happen. Some of the enlightened among us may consider these to be horrible points and a horrible thing and a lack of civilization but I look at is as a sign that there are still little American cells ensuring that we are still building backbone to support all the useless fat that those enlightened rely on for support because steaks don't carve themselves.

I'll let the link speak for itself.

Michelle Malkin » Miller Lite-approved: Toddlers at the Folsom Street Fair Now remember, rubes - If your conservative sensibilities have been violated, it's probably because you're not enlightened enough.

A call for diversity

The other day i was reading an article in which it was said that "Americans are too centered on their own culture." As a result, we supposedly don't appreciate and value the contributions that other cultures have brought the human race. Now I pretty much consider that sentiment to be horse shit but since I'm a dad and all, I gave it a little time to settle in. In doing this, I realized that the guy was kind of right. After all other cultures have done some pretty cool stuff and we should broaden our horizons to new ideas and new peoples if for no other reason than it's a learning experience. So this year I'm going to have a "Scandi meets the Sasquatch" thanksgiving. Instead of the same old boring turkey and ham, I'm going to eat scandi and Sasquatch foods. I can't wait to have a little roasted baby seal with Spotted Owl gravy. If that isn't opening your diet to the exotic, I don't know what is. If nothing else it will be something nice for the kids. For Christmas, I may go the whole Mexican/Inuit route. I'm thinking that killer whale enchiladas with an arctic fox guacamole sounds pretty nice. This diversity thing may work out after all.

Global Warming: Today's fear mongering moment

Today, the San Francisco Chronicle had a spiffy editorial about how global warming needs to be the political priority of this next election candidates. In that article, they had sweet nuggets of wisdom like "If unchecked, it (global warming) will threaten our national security, stress our economy and degrade our quality of life in so many ways." They also conclude that "Our willingness to confront this unprecedented heating of the planet is a test of our moral obligation to our children and their children." Of course, it's not "unprecedented" but why quibble. Let's carry on. So all of those running for office need to be enviro-warriors because "The world effectively lost eight years in the effort to apply a brake to climate change while the Bush administration slowly evolved from denial to foot dragging in response to a strong scientific consensus that human activity - namely, the consumption of fossil fuels - was putting life on Earth on a collision course with disaster." That's right. I am, to some degree according to the editorial, the reason that we are all going to die. See, not only do I burn fossil fuels in my car but I work for an oil and gas company that finds the fossil fuels to burn in your cars. All of this is because I am failing to fulfill my "moral obligation to our children and their children." Really, we're all little thugish eco-nazis with suvs. After all there is consensus. The scientist have consensus. WTF is our problem? Look at this. Lonnie Thompson, geology professor from Ohio State, showed measurements and photos of shrinking glaciers around the globe to underscore the damage from greenhouse gases. The thawing that has exposed plants and an "iceman" carcass for the first time in 5,200 years is a clear indication that something is terribly amiss, he suggested. Ben Santer, a physicist and atmospheric science at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, was ostracized by some members of Congress a decade ago for daring to contribute to the International Panel on Climate Change finding that human activity was probably an influence on global warming. Ten years later, a growing body of evidence has vindicated Santer, and he speaks without fear of political retribution. "We are," he told the editors, "irrevocably changing the climate." The debate is no longer about whether the Earth is warming at a disturbing rate, but by how much. "We're spinning the wheel," Santer said. By 2100, the "most likely scenario" - a 1 in 4 chance - is that planet temperatures would increase by 2 to 2.5 degrees centigrade, he said. Terry Root, a biologist at the Woods Institute for the Environment, said the planet already is "right at the edge of a mass extinction event." There is ample evidence of species changing migration habits and otherwise seeking new habitat because of climate change. If temperatures were to rise more than 4 degrees centigrade by century's end, she said, 40 percent of known species in the world would become extinct. You know, I think at this point we just need to panic and thrash about. I'll lead. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" OK... I feel better now. Lets continue. So why shouldn't we all go jump off a cliff? Seriously, let's just go get our kids toss them off high buildings and then jump right after them, right? Well, I guess it's because in global warming they typically forget to tell the whole story. Half the story can be fun, don't get me wrong. In fact, in some Hollywood movies it might be preferable, but sometimes it helps to see the whole story. Sometimes. For example, that "sea levels rising" thing... Yeah that happens. Look at earth history for a sec. It's called Transgression and Regression. Of course, it's not like the earth doesn't change anyway. Click on the picture and look at this. It's a image of the planet of the last couple plus billion years. Take a good look and notice how much it's changed. Notice that there were times with glaciers and without glaciers. There were times with nearly no exposed land and times with a lot of exposed land. then think about this: ALL OF THAT HAPPENED WITHOUT ANY HUMAN INTERFERENCE. I know, freaky isn't it. It's like the planet has systems that function independent of us. It also shows us that just like we weren't in control back then, we aren't in control now and we probably won't be in control any time in the future. Also, there is the fact that humans have been kicking around as homo sapiens for about 10,000 years. That's not a really long track record compared to something like the shark which has been around for about 360 million years. Likewise, scientists normally don't give you the info that 99% of all the species that have ever existed are now extinct. For perspective, let's play a game. I'm going to give you a list: cats, dogs, pigs, chickens, cows, donkeys, spotted owls, whales, bald eagles, otters iguanas, spiders, roaches, ants, carp, geckos, dolphins, meerkats, turtles, hamsters canaries, wolves, salmon, seals, sea lions, manatees, falcons, sparrows, doves, mice sharks, armadillos, geese, ducks, horses, beetles, snakes, worms, termites, rats parrots, quail, humans, grasshoppers, caribou, lice, ticks, mites, crabs, scorpions Ok, there is a list of fifty animals. Pick one type and imagine that all the other ones die. Over time, that's pretty much what happens. Either a life form evolves or it dies. Actually, I doubled the odds of survivorship because I got lazy and only listed 50 but The same thing goes for us. Hey, I'm a giver. Still, either we'll evolve or we'll die out. I know that the whole story isn't as "sexy" and it won't get you on the news as often but these scientist should already know this. However, it's politically, egotistically and financially expedient to omit the whole story and the balance that it provides because it doesn't fit the politics of what the politicians want you to hear. The message they are playing is the same "Pick me because your too stupid to stop this but we can by making rules for you, the stupid people." That might be the case, if what they were saying was totally true. However, it's not. What's worse is that there are hundreds of other things that could wipe out life on this planet in a matter or days, but they don't platform on those because that would cause hysteria. Instead, we'll scare you about a process that takes hundreds of years to raise the ocean leve 7 inches in order to control your life today. A process that we can't stop and don't understand but will tell you that we can prevent despite the fact that stopping the process is totally physically, energetically, biologically, geologically and chemically impossible to control. Pardon me, if I don't drink the kool aide on that one. (BTW, for the creationist: Genesis 9:8-11 "8 Then God told Noah and his sons, 9 “I hereby confirm my covenant with you and your descendants, 10 and with all the animals that were on the boat with you—the birds, the livestock, and all the wild animals—every living creature on earth. 11 Yes, I am confirming my covenant with you. Never again will floodwaters kill all living creatures; never again will a flood destroy the earth.”) So what to do? Here's what you do: Accept that your going to die. No really. I mean it. I can say for a fact that ALL OF YOU WILL DIE with 100% scientific accuracy. Now decide how you want to try to live? If you want to live trying to hold on to the current climate, scared of change, bound in fear then by all means vote for these fear mongers. It won't work but maybe it will make you feel better. I doubt it but who knows. It's like putting a paper bag over your head, it might help. Of course, the other option is to see that the things that we build and the stuff that we learn will probably be our best bet at an answer for how humans can take on the changes of a world that will change anyway and allow us to adapt. In that, we're better off if we understand that the car of today is the horse of yesterday and will probably become a novelty to whatever we develop tomorrow. Or, there's always panic!!!!

Racism as an extension of Stupid: A systemic crap ball of absolute idiocy

For those who currently surf CNN, one of today's stories has to do with racial discord, violence and charges in the town of Jena, Louisiana. The story is linked here and is truly a train wreck of stupidity on many levels. I'd suggest reading it because I won't mass post it but to sum up the relevant points: ~ A group of black kids decide to sit under a tree that the white kids normally hang out under. ~ The white kids hang nooses there which the black kids find there the next day. ~ The white kids responsible are suspended for 3 days ~ Racial tension in the school increases, fights both on and off campus happen ~ The school system has the DA address the school ~ The schools main academic building gets torched, as in 'arson' ~ Six students "reportedly" jump one kid and beat him until he is unconscious ~ The six are arrested and face charges ~ Parents of all the kids say their sons are being railroaded via Jim Crow Justice So where to start? The whole thing got touched off because, let's be honest, the kids hanging the nooses were trying to be dicks. Was that racial motivated? Hell yeah, it was as some level. Those kids may have deserved more or less time out of school based on your personal opinion but as an educational administration you know they have rules regarding race relations and common sense that those kids broke. They showed a major lack of judgment in thinking that idea was "cute" or "harmless" in today's social environment. So, I don't have any problem with those kids getting punished and would point out that if it were one of my sons, there would have been some punishment at home that would make a 3 day suspension seem like a vacation. What happened from that point was where the pure stupidity stepped up. Should those kids have been ostracized in school? That's a debatable social theory depending on whether your pro-enforcement or pro-rehabilitation. I can honestly say that they could expect to be fairly hated when they get off suspension. However, should their actions light off a powder keg with other students who weren't involved? No. And yet, it did. In my estimation it did for 2 reasons. The first is because black culture has not accepted that they are an easy mark when it comes to getting a reaction. The second is that schools and society's do an exceptionally poor job of handling teen boys and violence. Those two thing let 3 stupid kids melt down a whole school. Look racism is a problem in America. Period. And I know that some people can't accept it but it's not a one sided problem. I'm sorry, I've worked in predominately black environments and in predominately Hispanic environments. The result surprised me because you guys seem to dog each other and, even funnier, you just assumed that I agreed. The irony is that I don't. Sure, the races are different as genetics would tell you but I haven't seen that as any type of limiting factor in any type of human endeavor, much less a sign of superiority. However, that's something I had to learn from experience with individuals because culture sure doesn't teach it. White culture, for example, seems to say that I'm supposed to help every other culture out because it seems that every other culture needs help and I'm of the culture that's supposed to provide it. That was news to me considering that when my dad left, my mom was making 14k and I was having to hot glue gun the soles back on to my shoes. Still, it seems that "I'm responsible because I'm the man." I also found out that I'm responsible for slavery and I took Texas from the Mexicans who stole it from the Spanish who took it from the Indians. The fact that 1/16 of me is Indian doesn't supposedly void me of the white guilt for the Trail of Tears or Wounded Knee, either. While all of that is fun to learn as a heir apparent to "the man" franchise, I believe that I can correctly assume that several other boys have since learned that they are the heirs to being the "aggrieved black man" or the "downtrodden Latino" or whatever bullshit society is pedaling. As a result, black culture, from a white perspective, is so predictable that you could almost write a scientific law of universal response: Something like, "Any reference to the KKK, Jim Crow, Slavery or the use of the "N" word by anyone not Black is guaranteed a negative response at twice the energy level expressed and grows exponentially as the number of black recipients of said utterance is increased." Disagree? You think it was a accident that In Die Hard 3 that it was just accepted wisdom that Bruce Willis' character was going to get a serious ass beating, if not die, for wearing a lunch board saying "I hate Niggers?" Why is that? Furthermore, why is that acceptable wisdom? Have you ever stopped to consider the response if you drop a black character in the middle of white America with the counter sign of "I hate Crackers" or Whitey or Jews or whatever? Is that a guaranteed ass beating or death sentence under today's conventional wisdom? Not hardly. The point is that regardless of how you feel about it, and in today's PC world none the less, all it takes is saying "nigger" and people get wound up past all conventional wisdom and personal responsibility. As a result, they lose the power of initiative because their emotions dictate over their reason, more often than not. Who is the exception to that? The people who define themselves and others as individuals. Racism will continue to be a problem for one reason: People employ it to define who they are and who other people are because it's easier than being an individual or treating people as individuals. Society, and more specifically their parents, failed these kids in not enforcing that. The second issue is that society at large has a horrible grasp of what a man is, much less how to raise one, much less how to deal with a immature one. Violence is just one aspect where society fails miserably. Being a man is about understanding your value, your strengths, your weaknesses and how you allow those things to interact with those around you. Today's kids are barely taught to make sound decisions, typically isolated from risk, over protected from consequences and totally uncoached in understanding the power of their actions. There is a reason that martial arts can often market it's self for teaching responsibility and respect. The reason is that it is incredibly stupid to be disrespectful to a person who is able to break bricks with their head. The interesting factor is that it is typically the person who can break bricks with their head that is the most respectful to the people in the room that pose him no threat for a reason that most people don't get. A teacher is typically the most respectful of the power that he has learned, but he has also learned that the true power is in the choice to not put himself in the position to have to use it because of the damage that it can cause. He understands the consequence to action. Some kids today need to have their asses tossed around a dojo once or twice to realize that violence is just a tool. It can be effective but it can also run contrary to what you are trying to accomplish. In plain English, kids today see violence as the final step in a confrontation when it isn't. The aftermath of a confrontation still has to be dealt with and eventually the root cause of the confrontation before it is resolved. However, most boys are never taught that so they believe that "kicking ass" will fix the problem. Wrong. That might be a step, but normally there are other things that could be done before, or during, that confrontation that would be better than unchecked aggression. Society, and specifically these kid's parents, have failed to teach them, and possibly understand themselves, that when the only tool you have is a hammer every problem looks like a nail. When you place this all together the result is what you see. Kids that are in trouble, kids that are in pain, kids that are in discord, a community wrecked, fear mongers circling the wagons and everyone generally unimpressed with the whole thing because it could have been prevented. However, I want to take a second to say that for once in the news, the school system in this seems to have acted responsibly. They alone addressed the issues along each step. They alone took preventive action. In short, they are the only ones I see in the whole thing that tried to defuse things. Where all of this will go is beyond me but the point that we need to take away from it is this: fixing the problem of racism doesn't lie with the schools. They tried. It lies with society and parenting. We need to better coach our own kids on living in a equal society of individuals and educate them to the nature of their actions, including but not limited to violence.

Labor Day

Labor Day is a United States federal holiday that takes place on the first Monday in September. The holiday began in 1882, originating from a desire by the Central Labor Union to create a day off for the "working man". It is still celebrated mainly as a day of rest and marks the symbolic end of summer for many. Labor Day became a federal holiday by Act of Congress in 1894. So this morning I'm on my way to buy some Starbucks coffee for my wife, because that's how cool I am, and I have the #1 Son with me. In typical kid fashion he asks why I'm off today. In typical Dad fashion I tell him that it's Labor day, then explain what Labor day is, then go off on a tangent and end up giving him a theoretical lesson on the nature of work and what I consider to be the driving factor of it. The way I see it, and what I was telling him, is that there are two competing forces in work: Being paid for what you do and being paid for what you know. In essence, you have knowledge VS ability. The thing I was telling him was that while there are a few jobs that pay highly that are based on ability, most of the high paying jobs are based on knowledge. Of course, these two things aren't exclusive of each other. Eventually, it being work and all, ability based jobs require you to know stuff and knowledge based jobs require some ability. However, I told him that the key difference is that not everyone is willing to do the work to acquire knowledge. As a result, they are normally stuck in a job class that is limited because a lack o knowledge. On the other hand, some can over pursue knowledge and end up a double Dr in the Paleontology of left handed sloths and while an expert in the subject provide little or no service to the world. Thankfully, my son has put my nerves about his future choices of employment and education at ease. He said he plans to be a professional soccer player and race car driver and a scientist who is going to discover a way to make robots that teleport and can blow up the bad guys and that they will look like bionacles so that even the bad guys will think they look cool. What more could a father ask for. Take a good look Iran, in about 30 years this could be whipping your ass. 50 tons of plastic Lego inspired fury.

The inside dope

Last Saturday the electricity went out at my mom's house while she was outside mowing the lawn. So she went next door to see if the neighbor's electricity was out too. She knocked on the door and when the guy next door answered, his pit bull rushed the door. The guy grabbed the dog but not before it knocked my mom down. In the process, she sprained her wrist. She went back home and did what any reasonable person would do when they were in really bad pain with a sprained wrist from a quasi-dog attack: She finished mowing the lawn and then mowed the back yard. In pain. The whole time. See where I get my IQ and decision making skills from? Anyway, so my wife, a nurse, looked at it, my friend, an EMT/Fire fighter, looked at it and a family friend, a doctor, looked at it. They all agreed that the swelling at the time was too bad to tell if it was a break or a strain but that she was probably 50/50. She decided to wait and let the swelling go down. Well, this Saturday came and she wasn't any better. As a result, she went down to the nearest "doc-in-a-box" clinic and they x-rayed it. #1 Is the fracture in her ulna, it actually offsets about a 3mm. #2 Is the same fracture from a different view. There is another fracture but the picture of the X-ray didn't really show it. It was a hairline. #3 is the arthritis in her fingers that she got from slapping me in the back of the head all those years. (I told you I'd have my revenge!!) The final result is that today she is supposed to get her hand set in a cast. Now I for one will get to bust out the sharpie in person, but I wanted to provide some virtual cast space for you guys to sign. So have at it.

In 2005, in Texas....

... 0 people died from salmonella poisoning ... 2 people died of syphilis ... 8 people died from HPV ... 8 People were attacked by sharks, none of the attacks were fatal ... 30 people died of lip cancer ... 47 people died from child birth ... 59 people died of TB ... 72 people died from meningitis ... 74 Texas born soldiers died in Iraq ... 152 people died from surgical complications ... 633 people died of lung cancer ... 1108 people died from Parkinson's disease ... 1407 people were murdered ... 2290 people died by suicide ... 3198 people died from the flu ... 3504 people died in automobile accidents, of those 1569 were alcohol related. ... 4209 people died of stomach cancer ... 4331 people died from Alzheimer's ... 5426 people died from diabetes ... 16309 people died of colon cancer ... 40091 people died of heart disease ... 48305 people died of lung cancer We spend millions of dollars trying to avert these numbers. Hundreds of thousands of volunteers give their time to "increase awareness" and "educate toward prevention" and lobby for legislative controls in order to try to avert these numbers. There are TV shows and news stories and telethons and 10k runs and jump rope pledge drives and more done to try to make a difference in curtailing these deaths. People beg and plead and suffer and work and toil and fight and die in their efforts aligned to diverting these numbers. We look at them and we see that struggle as noble. We put on out LiveStrong bracelet, look at our Prostate Cancer awareness lapen pin, grab our pink ribbon coffee cup and jump into our "Support the troops" stickered cars. We agree. Painful, avoidable death should be stopped. Seriously, who can support it. Even our criminals are given a court mandated, pain free lethal injection. So if we can all be on the same side on this. If Texans common humanity recognizes the need to decrease suffering and death as much as possible, then I have one more stat to give you. In Texas, in 2005 alone, there were 77,374 babies killed due to elective abortion. SEVENTY SEVEN THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FOUR. In one year. That disgusts me. If we are truly against pointless suffering and needless death then there is a reality we have to face: This "bullshit" they call a debate between "reproductive rights and morality and women's choice" has resulted in over 2,493,515 deaths in Texas between 1974 and 2005. For scale, that's equivalent to the entire population of Kuwait being killed before they ever breathed. Abortion is morally, ethically, rationally and logically wrong and the fact that we allow it in the US shows an erosion of the concepts that we supposedly believe and adhere to as a nation. In one state, 2,439, 515 innocents have been killed for the crime of being inconvenient. Hitler, and his Nazis, couldn't touch the holocaust we've allowed here in the USA in the name of "choice."

Why video games can be a parents best friend.

When I was born they had Pong. By the time I was a kid they had Atari. In my teen years it was Nintendo. By college we had Sega. By late college we had the PlayStation. I'm living right in the wheelhouse of the video game generation. I was a master of both Pac-man and Tekken Tournement. I wasted time with both Galaga and Grand Theft Auto. As I have grown, video gaming has been a constant influence in my life. Now, as a dad, I have to weigh that influence again from a different perspective. The cons of video games get a lot of popular press. It's not too hard to find a story linking video games to obesity, anti-social behavior or violence. Honestly, I am typically critical of these stories for the fact that most make rather loose leaps between the correlation and the causality of social ills. For example, if I had research that said that "By their 15th birthdays, close to 100 percent of males have masturbated to orgasm." and I have data that says "95 per cent of the teens surveyed said they had access to either a video game machine or home computer and a similar proportion (90 per cent) said they owned at least some video games." Does that mean that video games makes boys by age 15 masturbate? No, it's a correlation. However, the media rarely takes the time to explain the methodology of their comparative data or it's collection in the inferences that it makes when blaming social ills on video games. I can honestly admit that as a result of my childhood, I'm jaded about the validity of these results because I belonged to several "at risk" groups of my adolescent time. I was a single parented child. I also listened to heavy metal rock. I played D&D. I had dyslexia. We were, for most of my life, below the poverty line. My parents didn't have a college education. Somehow, through all of that statistically proclaimed "adversity" I managed not to become a drug fueled, Satanist who was kept down by socio-economic underpinnings of a corrupted upbringing. Who knew? The truth of it is, a lot of that so-called study done at the time was conducted to blame a social phenomenon that people didn't understand or like or correlated with an event that they would accept either happened for a different reason or no reason at all. Like the kid that killed himself while listening to Ozzy. His parents wigged out and blamed Ozzy, and heavy metal, for their sons death. In the process, they actually sued Ozzy for causing their sons death. The court killed the case but the standard of people blaming external events for an issue that would have more than likely been tied to the home was set. Additionally, I never forget that the media is generated not by experts in relevant fields but by people with journalism degrees. They can write about science but are rarely scientist themselves. On the other hand, the positive effects of video games are rarely ever discussed. In passing we are told that these games are horrible things that teach our children horrible things. Really? If they teach horrible things, then is it possible that they can teach good things too? For example, some video games teach children problem solving abilities dictated by logic and memory. Not only are children given objectives, but they are given limitations in multiple areas that govern the problem, that must all be managed, simultaneously, in order to solve the problem. All of this is done in an environment that rewards success, promotes learning, increases hand eye coordination, has consequences for failure and works within a construct of fair play. For example, the "Lego Starwars" video games are ones that my kids love. In them you have to solve puzzles, both short and long term. Achievement is rewarded. Mistakes have an immediate cost but the option to retry and learn from mistakes is available. It forces players to make logical problem solving steps while under character constraints, physical constraint and chronological constraints. Most importantly, it's fun. This is a game that my four year old can play at a totally different level than what my six year old does or for what I do. The complexity increases the reward of play while not governing the game play itself. The Shrek and Spiderman3 video games are similar but for older players, due to plot complexity. Most sports games fit under this mold, as well. In this, parents who are willing to take the time to research and pay attention to game play can find that some video games are great learning tools that create their own reward while giving the parent the open forum to show the real life benefit of the lessons learns in the virtual world. Even this morning, as my son sat, stuck in a part of the Ratatouille video game, he was frustrated with his ability to pass the level. I pointed out that sometimes multiple attempts have to be made to correctly time any event in order to pass the level. If that fails, back tracking and reevaluating the steps you made to get there and looking for a missed part of the level sometimes helps to show another path to progress. However, I stressed, there is always a way to get over any objective because the game is governed by it's design so that once you truly have all the options the answer will present itself. Sure enough, before I left he had passed it and in that exchange he was reminded of the same qualities that make real people succeed in the real world. Of course not all games are suitable for all kids and some games are just crap but the same can be said of books, TV or ,in some cases, parents. The point I am making is that video games, out of hand, are no worse than any other tool that a parent has for teaching, yet offer a somewhat unique way to allow for an interaction that mimics the real world in the tasking that one must acquire in order to solve real world issues.

Picking apart culture as a parent. Yes, it's our job.

This morning my son's were watching Rocket Power on Nick while waiting for Sponge Bob to come on. As I was getting ready for work I found that the show, which I neither really like or dislike and my kids neither really like or dislike, did something that made me actually have to turn off the TV and have a talk with both of my elder sons right then. Was it something offensive? To me it was but to the rest of the world it may not be. Still, if you're a parent, you need to note this because it's going to come up. If you're not a parent, you don't have to read any further than you like because this is pretty my going to be from a "Rob, the parent" angle from here on in. I linked the wikipedia entry for the show, above, in order to supply some context. In the episode that my sons were watching, the kids in the show were all idolizing this character named "rhino" who was older and did dangerous surfing. In it, one of the kids, Otto, decided to try to surf "big waves" like Rhino despite the fact that he wasn't ready. Of course, things go wrong and other kids run to get Otto's dad. Luckily, no one is hurt and Ottos seems to realize the error of his ways. At this point, Otto's dad says "and now I need to go have a word with Rhino about being a role model." WTF? This is where I, it would seem, depart from the rest of the real world. I turned off the TV and looked at my boys and started to ask them questions. Here is exactly how it went: "Why was Otto wrong?" Because he surfed the big waves and he could have gotten hurt. "Did his Dad tell him not to?" Yes. "Who do you ask if you want to do something?" You or Mom. "If we say 'no' and someone else says it's ok, like Rhino did, do you go ahead and do it?" No "Why?" Because it's your job to take care of us. Whew! They still get it. The message this show added with the actions of the characters and the statement of the dad at the end, despite it's good intentions, is what totally wrong. Kids do not need to learn to have good role models. Kids need to learn to do what their parents say. Role models are at best ideological destination points that kids set for themselves based on the merit of the person. They are not substitute parents. They are not responsible for raising your kids and they are not persons of authority for your kids. Your kids are YOUR KIDS. It is your job to raise them and that includes the interaction they have with their role models and TV. Maybe I'm the ass here for saying this in such a "candy assed, Dr Spock driven, it takes a village" world but that's a parents job. The problem we, as parents, better cotton to is that if we don't teach our sons and daughters to be responsible for themselves and their actions, if we don't teach them to understand their role in relation to authority and if we don't raise them to be aware of cultural pressure and the marketing aspect of TV, then things will only get worse for them and us. I don't think that Rocket Power is a bad show and I don't think there was an intention there to undermine parents, however, I think as a parent, you better know what your kids watch by watching it with them because otherwise you'll find out one day that your ability to shape the direction of your children has been eroded by a well meaning moral relativism that is not moral by any standard. I don't need a cartoon to tell my boys that I, as a dad, need to go speak to some guy about being a role model for my kids. Instead, I need my sons to understand that it's my job to take care of you and your part is to do what I tell you to do so that you stay safe. If you can't follow my direction, no matter who tells you otherwise, then you'll just have to be under my supervision. In short, you will either show that you abide by my judgement with your actions or you with have to stay physically within the sphere of my influence until you show you can do so. I'm trying to raise boys into men that understand that a rule is a rule, that your word is your word and that you do the right thing because it's right. If that sounds too hard, so be it. In the end, when they are on their own, I won't be dumping out weak minds emo lemmings that follow role models or TV instead of their own brains. In that, I feel that the pay off is worth it. Bringing your kids to that point is the role of a parent and if you don't protect it, you will lose it to the box in your living room as it tries to whore your children to the world of mindless consumerism and moral ambivalence. If I sound like a hard ass about that, I am. I only hope that some parent of three girls is as well, because my sons are going to need fully functioning wives some day in a world that tries hard to pump out mindless drones.

My drink of the day discovery

Last weekend the spouse and I were allowed a night of freedom from our little minions. Since we were sans kids, I decided to try something outside my typical fare* when we went out to eat. I had Mango Chipotle Tilapia. It was pretty good. As a continuation of this day of new things I decided to drink something different. So, I tried a mojito. As a bit of background, when I was a young college dork I'd drink anything and often did. I wasn't consistent in terms of beer or drink preferred in any way, shape or form. I'd drink fruity drinks, shots, beer, wine, champagne and whatever else you could scrounge up. I also did a little bar tending at weddings when catering with one of my art professors. He was the one that taught me how to make Banana's Foster, for which I am somewhat famous. As I aged, I noticed that it began to not like the fruity drinks. It took too much effort to make what essentially was a loaded glass of juice. In terms of beer, I've found that I usually come back to a few favorites. It's not that I won't try new beers but I usually buy the same 3 or 4. However, most of my consumption is limited to 3 types of drinks. I like Jim Beam on the rocks, Long Island Iced Tea and Dos XX Amber. All that personal history aside, the mojito was good. In fact, it was really good. Now, you al may have known this for years and I may be the late guy to the party, but it was "Damn, I might need a few more of these" good. So in looking on the Internet for what would be a good mojito recipe I came across this site. At www.tasteofcuba.com they have what they say is the official recipe of the Mojito that Hemingway preferred. Now, for my two cents, if Hemingway drank it, it's probably going to be pretty good because from my understanding Hemingway managed to build up some drinking skills between all that writing and adventuring and whatnot. So, this weekend, at my poker throw down, I'll be drinking a few Mojitos. If things go well, meaning that I still have much liking for this drink, not that I'll win because I rarly win, then I may have to add this to my arsenal. Besides, considering the fact that the only poker books I have ever read were by Phil Hellmuth JR., it should aid my "loudmouth jackass" poker skills around the table. (* ~ Normally, I'm a meat and potatoes guy who will other get steak or chicken, but for sure french fries. For the non-parents, I know that sounds odd, but you learn when you are a dad that anything on your plate is something that your kid will want to try if not want outright. Sure, you can get the spicy cayenne pepper laden shrimp, but explaining it over and over to the 2 year old that it would burn their mouth just isn't worth it. Now, if you want to get all "there's no way, I'm going to let my kid eat my food" or the "I just would tell them no and they would learn to deal with it" parent, then be my guest. I will warn you though, you'll probably also be the "Dear God, why can't those people keep their two year old quiet" parent as well. One does not reason with a 2 year old. They are a force of nature. You simple treat them like golf. You line up your shots in such a way to avoid the trouble before you take the swing instead of being hard headed and going for it and then finding that your in the sand.)

Fathers Day

This Fathers day, I gave my dad two golf club pens and took him out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack. The spouse's dad got a CD of some group that I've never heard of, but they knew he wanted. Me, I got a limited wide screen edition of "Ghost Rider." So if you had to choose between this: or this: or this: Which one do you think I'm going to be stoked about? That's right, Ghost Rider. Why? Well, let me quote my oldest son in how he picked this gift. "Dad, see, Ghost Rider is like this guy who's cool. And he's on a motorcycle, which is cool. And he wears this leather jacket, and stuff, with these chains and spikes, which are cool. And for a head... He has a skull, which is cool, but what makes it even cooler is that it's on fire. So everything about him is cool, so I though you'd like that." You know, you really can't argue with logic like that...which is cool.

Some life lessons come harder than others

On CNN today they have a story that I had honestly hoped to see years ago. Cindy Sheehan is quitting the anti-war movement. "I have tried ever since he died to make his sacrifice meaningful," she wrote. "Casey died for a country which cares more about who will be the next American Idol than how many people will be killed in the next few months while Democrats and Republicans play politics with human lives. "It is so painful to me to know that I bought into this system for so many years, and Casey paid the price for that allegiance. I failed my boy and that hurts the most." (em mine) Here is the crux of her whole problem, in fact the crux of many parent's problems, when is comes to having kids and what they do with their lives. Kids, regardless of their age, are free willed individuals. That means that they think and decide and do things on their own, without consulting us and , occasionally, totally contrary to what we think is good. Our children, from birth until death, will make an infinite number of decision of various scopes and sizes that are dictated by just as many external and internal forces. Our guidance, however thorough and comprehensive we endeavor to make it, is merely one of those forces. Casey made a choice. She may feel that the country is evil, Bush is Satan, Up is Down, Black is White and that Chocolate is Vanilla. Her feelings are irrelevant to the fact that he made his choice. She could have said any of 1,000,000,000 things to him and never had it effect his decision. She could have said nothing and had seen him change his mind. We don't know. We simply don't. However, we do know that the name on the enlistment papers said his name and not hers. We do know that he didn't fight his deployment. We do know he didn't shirk his duties. We know that he served his country right up to the moment he died. She might not agree with his decision but she needs to accept that she was never in control of him to begin with. She didn't "fail" him. He made a series of decisions. In fact, they were decisions that were his to make. As a person who also pointed out the negative effects that this could, and did, have on the troop morale and public perception of the war, I also feel like it's important to point a latter statement of Cindy's out. Sheehan warned that the United States was becoming "a fascist corporate wasteland," and that onetime allies among Bush's Democratic opposition turned on her when she began trying to hold them accountable for bringing the 4-year-old war to a close. In the meantime, she said her antiwar activism had cost her her marriage, that she had put the survivor's benefits paid for her son's death and all her speaking and book fees into the cause and that she now owed extensive medical bills. "I am going to take whatever I have left and go home," she wrote. "I am going to go home and be a mother to my surviving children and try to regain some of what I have lost. "I will try to maintain and nurture some very positive relationships that I have found in the journey that I was forced into when Casey died and try to repair some of the ones that have fallen apart since I began this single-minded crusade to try and change a paradigm that is now, I am afraid, carved in immovable, unbendable and rigidly mendacious marble." Another life lesson to get out of this is one that Cindy, not Casey, missed. When you got from "no one" to "someone" question why that is. In the midst of all the rhetoric about "America's political hegemony" and "imperialistic war machines" she was spouting in sunny Venezuela and cheery Cuba, there had to be a moment where she realized that she had sold out her own cause. At some point she had to wonder why the politicians were so willing to be seen with her one week and then so willing to dump her the next. Sadly, if she ever had a clue that she was getting used before now we couldn't tell but it would have been better for everyone if she had discovered that a few years ago. It would have been better for her, and it seems that she realizes that it would have been better for her family too. Well, hopefully the next flash in the pan see Cindy and figures it out. People use other people, especially in politics. It's a concept I though that most people had grasped but it seems that some haven't. So now that it's over, if it truly is, am I going to miss her? No, not one bit. I prefer to watch the "train wrecks" not the slow grinding halt of a thrown rod. (H/t Kieth. I was typing on it even as you IM'd me.)

Compliments

This Saturday I took my boys over to my mom's house in order to wash her car for mother's day. Since I'm not a rookie, I made sure to pack extra clothes for everyone. I know how any equation that includes "my sons" and "water" ends. As expected, everyone got drenched. There was one surprise, though. I gave my sons the job of doing the tires while I was to wash the car. I fully expected them to give up on it early and just play with the water hose. What I discovered is that my eldest son stuck with it, with no encouragement from me, until he had done each wheel. What's more impressive is that he did a really, really good job. I honestly spent about 10 seconds a wheel getting a few little spots that needed a "man strength" scrubbing to get road tar off, but other than that he had those wheels spotless. It really impressed me that his own little work ethic, at six, convinced him to be patient and through. As a result, we made sure that Gran knew that he had cleaned the wheels and I bragged on him to everyone I could that night and the next day. I say all of this because I know as a parent that it is very easy to have a bad day or a frustrating moment with your child and to blow the response out of proportion. As a result, we as parent have to work on gaining "instant perspective" in trying to discipline instead of disciplining out of our emotional response. However, in light of that, I'd like to encourage you to never, never miss the chance to highlight and compliment your child on a job well done. Just like telling your children "please" and "thank you" when they do things for you teaches them about the proper way to act while showing them respect, complimenting your children helps them build self esteem off of their accomplishments. That's a really good thing because they need to understand that they can be proud of hard, honest work. Try to keep your perspective on praising them for mundane matters. I'm happy for my son when he sticks with it and beats a level on his video game instead of giving up and I'll tell him that. That's an accomplishment, in some sense, in that it shows him the value of not quitting. Still, I'm much happier to see him try hard on the playing field to score a goal. Both are still trivial in that he won't remember either of them years from now but the goal is more important to me in that it's both physical and mental toughness he's learning. Now, when he cleans his room or helps his mother, that gets the top marks because it physical, mental and it's helping someone besides himself. I'll praise him for any of those thing but it isn't equal. I try to praise him wile some perspective so that he can see what's important. Shockingly, this works with people who aren't kids. It seems that everyone likes compliments. And what makes that even better is that it's a positive reinforcement that allows the ability place emphasis on your desired priority. Try it. Compliment someone. Compliment your kids. See if you can see a difference.

Signs that I am fully domesticated

I look at hot women and think "I wonder if she would let me watch the game in peace." I know the tire pressure my kid's bikes. I can find the Stayfree regular absorbance, unscented pads with wings on the fist pass on the asile. I daydream about paying off credit cards. I've measured my lawns sprinkler zones for coverage I consider going to Home Depot and Starbucks a night out just because I don't have the kids with me. I've seen every episode of Jimmy Neutron and Spongebob Squarepants that Nick has run in the last 3 years. I yell at teenagers on the street in front of my house to "slow down" because it's "not the damn Indy 500 out here." I consider all the kids sleeping to be "the signal." My spouse considers all the kids sleeping to be "the signal... to go to sleep." I tell my wife about oil and gas stuff when she asks me how my day was becuase I know I'm about to get a 15 minute update of her day, seeing as how that question really means "let me tell you how frusterated I got with your children today." I hide any self-help, relationship or guidence book that crosses my door way before I have to answer a "hypothetical question." The kids eat all the crumb creating foods on my side of the bed. The infant can spit up on my shirt and I don't even flinch because I knew it was just a matter of time. I have an outside broom and a inside broom. Can anyone feel my pain? Anyone?

Why Rob's In a low volume blog post cycle

1. Finals 2. New Baby 3. The other kids 4. Big project at work in which i have to write things like this: The tectonic stresses in the area produced a large number of compressional and transpressional structures. The Cook Inlet Basin is bounded by a series of large, high-angle reverse faults that often display evidence of right-lateral, strike-slip movement. These large, basin-bounding faults exhibit several thousand feet of vertical displacement, as well as several miles of strike-slip displacement. The basin-bounding fault system acted as a major control on sedimentary deposition within the basin and in particular, the deposition of large, braided stream-fed alluvial fans. During the Tertiary, these alluvial fans formed good quality reservoir rocks on both sides of the basin. Nearly all of the oil production in the Cook Inlet Basin comes out of the Tertiary alluvial fan deposits. Thrilling, eh? So in order to keep the ball rolling as I'm mucking about, tell me your best joke, story or antecdote involving children.

This one is for the ladies

Housewife porn

The "Show us the baby" moment...

I'd love to delude myself into thinking that our live blogging was a hit because it was such an incredible use of our tech skills or my IM'ing or Hoods commentary but lets be honest - you guys and mostly the gals just want to see the baby. However, when the truck load of imported Italian paparazzi Zsa Zsa hired showed up on my front lawn, I realized that I'll need to give the people what they want. So I went outside and turned the lawn sprinklers on so as to soak the pasta eating shutterbugs, got a cup of coffee and loaded the pictures on the PC. So here are some pics from delivery day and a few days after. You guys were worried that the wife was going to kill me for blogging the birth, well let me tell you I was more likely going to die if she didn't get that little bugger out. Here's the happy parents. Notice that she does all the work and I still manage to look worse off. I'm beginning to think that my hockey years have made me ugly.