March Madness

As always, I've put together my annual March Madness bracket. And staying the same as last year, the 1st, 2nd and 3rd prizes are as follows: Cash voucher for the sum of $0,000,000 Cash voucher for the sum of $00,000 Cash voucher for the sum of $0,000 I don't care what you think, that joke will always be humorous to me. Click here to join. ID: 66239 pw: mar2009 Good luck! UPDATE: (Password correct now!)

This little piggy went to market ....

I saw this little baby in action tonight. It ran circles around the walls. Awesome. I want one. Trust me ... you really won't need a mirror over your bed. They had helicopters too.

A Predictify Update

Doing well, thanks. FWIW, each week, so far, a Predictify user has been offering up $500 and/or $1000 pots on predicting NFL games (three to four a week). This is really just a free bet. Just thought our readers might be interested in predicting scores for cash. Carry on!

Go Here:

[ENTER] 1. And put in 9371 for the Group ID and cfb2008 for the password. 2. ??? 3. Profit!

Good game!

Presidential Approval! In hindsight I bet George wishes he would not have let himself be photographed in this pose, but hey at least he is not humping White House staff and interns left and right.

Congrats, Stars!

The Stars went further than most thought they would. Nevertheless, they wanted more. They wanted to be the first team in 33 years to overcome a 3-0 deficit in a series. They wanted their shot at the Stanley Cup. But on a night when the Stars needed to be great, they instead came up short. Nuff said.

Because I'm a giver....

Sportsmanship is a lost commodity, sometimes, in this day and age of "extreme" sports marketing. Everything is supposed to be tough and edgy and "in your face." I have no problem with a little attitude in the games but I think we lose a little bit of the respect for the game and the other team if we don't acknowledge the skill and effort of our opponent, in a respectful manner. Towards that end, I would like to say that, despite hating Chris Pronger long before he ever became a Duck, the Ducks played a strong series. I would add that it's very hard to repeat the success that they had last year. Stars fans would know because we ran into the Devils in 2000. Also, I think the later games, of this series, provided some of the best 1st round intensity I've seen in some time. As a gesture of respect, I checked and I have a suggestion for the team as they deal with the end of the season. I think they need to spend a little time here. By my understanding, it's close, relaxing and a fairly complex course. Now for Pronger, I hear that this is always good for him. While it may not make for a perfect "Duck summer", at least you aren't stuck with this every year.

Lighten up, guys!

Evidently, the douchenozzles in New York are contemplating charges against a prankster construction worker that buried a David Ortiz jersey in concrete at the new Yankees stadium. A construction worker’s bid to curse the New York Yankees by planting a Boston Red Sox jersey in their new stadium was foiled Sunday when the home team removed the offending shirt from its burial spot. After locating the shirt in a service corridor behind what will be a restaurant in the new Yankee Stadium, construction workers jackhammered through the concrete Sunday and pulled it out. The team said it learned that a Sox-rooting construction worker had buried a shirt in the new Bronx stadium, which will open next year across the street from the current ballpark, from a report in the New York Post on Friday. Now they didn't have to dig it up, but they did. And now they're talking about charging the now unknown worker with a crime. I guess the charge will be Illegal Fanaticism which is hopefully just a Class A misdemeanor. I jest. This construction worker, who is at the moment unidentified, in my opinion, is just being a good-hearted fan that enjoys the rivalry. Now unless cotton jerseys can compromise hardened concrete, let it go Spankee lawyers!

So baseball season started today...

... and that makes me happy. It signifies that spring is here and summer is on its way and that the fantasy baseball season is in full swing. I'm not afraid to admit it. I love baseball. After all, I'm not a communist. So, what do you like about baseball? What are some of your fondest childhood baseball memories? Or if those questions don't pertain to you, what makes you support the bloody and evil communist regimes of the world? Discuss...

Oops

What the hell? Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead The woman woke up to find she had been mixed up with another patient suffering from incontinence who was to have surgery on her sphincter. There's an analogy *snicker* here about what's happening to the Dallas Mavericks...

March Gladness (Bump)

For those of you that enjoy playing a free and friendly NCAA tourney bracket, you can join some FIUers and others by registering here. The grand prize is $00,000 in cash and the cost to join is $000 per person. Good luck! *Bump* The brackets are set... it's time to bring on the Madness.

What I've been up to...

I've been busy recently... We bought a house are having work done on said house cleaning the crap left behind doing lawn work (lots of big trees = leaves galore) getting new floors in buying furniture buying appliances buying Christmas gifts having family Christmas parties (I have a huge family so it's split into many family Christmas's) and finding out how many five year olds I could take in a fight. 25

It's Bowl Season

**Bumped** Because bumping posts is a really easy way to blog... AND that bowl games begin on Thursday - I thought I'd bring this up in case you want to give a shot at the first annual Zombo.com Bowl trophy*! And in some ways I mean bowls that need licking to remove delicious cookie, brownie and cake batter. But not this time. I mean college bowl season. No, there's still not a playoff system so we get to watch computer generated championships! Awesome! If you have an alma mater participating or have a team you like to root for, why not put some confidence in your school? I've set up a Bowl Pick'Em group for those interested. This invite can be extended to anyone you think might be interested. The cost is $0 and the prize is a First Annual Zombo.com Victory Trophy. Click here and you'll be on your way to Zombo.com Bowl dominance! Good luck! *FIU makes no guarantee that an actual trophy will exist

Raising your green awareness

Last night, the NBC halftime show between that Cowboys and the Eagles was done by candle light in order to raise awareness of NBC's focus on the environment. To say that I found it to be stupid is an understatement. I can't trust Chris Collingsworth to not be a marginally intelligent on the subject of football and your going to let him explain the environmental impact of energy conservation to me? Please, don't waste my time. However, I felt compelled to do the math that the true eco-warriors would really want to show you is their final goal, if the PR spin didn't kill them. The average person takes roughly 10 4.6 liter breaths of air a minute. In return they expel roughly 4.6 liters of CO2. That translates to 2760 liters of CO2 a hour, 66,240 liters a day, 463,680 liters a week and 24,111,360 liters a year per person. That translates to 24.111 kg of CO2 per average person per year by just breathing. Considering that there are an estimated 6.6 billion people on the planet, we generate 159,135,000,000 kg of CO2 a year by just breathing. Adding no activity at all, the human race dumps the equivalent of 3% of the earths total atmospheric volume in pure CO2 a year. This would seem to suggest that by merely breathing we will overcome the O2 volume of the atmosphere in under 7 years. Wow, it's a shocker that we aren't all dead already. Yet, when we look at the atmosphere we see that CO2 comprised .038 of the atmosphere. Odd isn't it? I mean, how could that be? Consider what I just showed you. I just showed you that humans will kill themselves by just breathing in 7 years but ,as you notice, we're still alive. The reason for that is biofeedback mechanisms. If you have never heard that term before, it's because the media doesn't bother telling you about it while the are trying to scare you and control you through global warming hype. Here is some "green awareness" for you, plants consume CO2 and create 02. So if they have sunlight, you know that same sunlight that causes global warming, and CO2, the same one that causes global warming, and water, once again a part of global warming, then they create O2 and sugar. SO, for what it's worth, cutting CO2 won't "cool" the planet as much as it will kill plants. For some reason, I doubt Chris Collingsworth gets that. Achieving an equilibrium might be advisable but thankfully plants do that pretty well on their own. The only thing left is to effect the energy effecting our system. Is anyone here for a massive reflection of solar energy? Yeah, I though not. Besides, who says that the current environment is the optimal one for the human species? I think that despite NBC's aspirations, the issue of global warming is a little more complex than can be effectively discussed at a halftime show in the dark.* *~ That description of being "in the dark" is both literal and figurative.

25-24

What had the makings of a disaster turned out to be quite great. Tony Romo and the Cowboys getting a clock-expiring field goal to win by one, in spite of Romo's best efforts otherwise. I'm not sure but I think Tony completed more passes to Buffalo than to his own teammates, right? Dallas deserved the win, to be sure. The Cowboy defense was spectacular holding the Buffalo offense to no touchdowns and one field goal. Buffalo could only score off of touchdown passes from Tony Romo and a kick-off return that went the distance. Buffalo got up for the game, as did the fans but save some miscommunication and pure luck, Dallas owned the field. The better team won last night and that's the way it should be. And what Rob said.

Ahem...

There is a place in sports where one has to make questionable decisions that while being contained within the legality of play are still essentially "feeble" plays. The coach of the Bills, Dick Jauron, made one of those decisions. In what has become a recent development in NFL coaching he exercised a legal maneuver to call time out just as the Cowboys took the snap for a game winning 52 yard field goal attempt. The Attempt was good, but the timeout preceded it so the Dallas kicker, Nick Folk, had to kick again. The second kick was just as good. Nick Folk, being a better man than I was simply elated and trotted off the field to congratulations. This is because he has more than likely been made away that any derogatory action towards the Bill's bench or the head coach would have been met with punishment and probably a fine. That is a decision to show class, when class was not shown to you. Me, I'm classless. So to Dick Jauron, this is for you: Sit and spin, Sir. Sit and spin.

Playoff Fevah!

I don't blog about baseball very often, but if you like the sport, you have to love what's going on in the National League. Any Mets, Phillies, Cubs, Brewers, Diamondbacks, Padres or Rockies fans in the house? There's only room for four of those teams and these divisions are coming down to the wire. Good stuff! Especially the fact that The Rockies have rolled off 10 straight wins in a row to get in the meat of the hunt. Clutch...

Time for a Salute

First, I want to take a moment to link a site that my wife's best friends husband gave me. He's a Pavelow pilot and has been back and forth between here and the gulf several times. So, unless you're a rotorhead, you'll probably wonder "what's a Pave Low?" The site he gave me is the perfect answer for you. www.pavelow.com Go visit it and tinker around and pimp it out to your friends. One of his pals runs it and it's fairly cool. The second site I want to link is a blog that I wondered upon that deserves some time and, if your capital allows, some backing. No need to describe it, just look here and then poke around. The pictures are priceless.

Today was a bit of a downer

Today I had to go with the spouse to a funeral. Any funeral is a bit of a downer but standing in a black wool suit during a Texas summer is more than it's fair share of draining. SO I will post something light hearted and stupid because I just feel like it.

College Football Pick'em, YAY! *BUMP*

***It's not too late to join in and participate and this is an official reminder to those that are participating. This Saturday, college football begins.*** As done last year, for those of you who loves them some college football, you are more than welcome to join in and give your skills a shot. I'll toss in $10 via an Amazon.com gift certificate, because as a Texas Aggie, I'm all about tradition. Good luck! Click Group ID: 285 password: 12to7

Know your 'frenemy'

CNN has an article up about girls having a 'frenemy.' You know, like those girls who are friends yet constantly compete and back stab and stuff like enemies? Think of their example of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Anyway according to their expert du joir: Females are more competitive with their friends than men due to cultural circumstance, Apter theorizes. "They (women) sometimes idealize their friendships -- they should only be loving and supportive -- whereas the wider culture allows men to enact the inevitable competitive feelings openly, without feeling ashamed or guilty," she says. Every friendship -- no matter how solid or tentative -- has mixed feelings of support and antagonism. Apter says that "among female friends there is also something else: a wish to offer support and see a friend thrive, on the one hand, and a fear of being left behind or out-shone, on the other." In essence, the "hate" part of a love-hate relationship isn't really hate -- it's envy or insecurity. In this day of civil rights and equality, I want to call bullshit. I think that the media has allowed this phenomenon to gain traction in order to appeal to the fairer sex as a way to pat them on the back and say "It's OK if you act like psycho-bitches to each other because it's only the result of you repressing your competitive natures in order to be nice, unlike the knuckle dragging brutes over there." Sure it sounds coffee table smart but lets call this what it is. Women hate to see anyone have fun. Think about it. Example: There are all these rock bands out there kicking ass and taking names. The along come the PMRC, the Parents Music Resource Center, crapping in the punchbowl. Who started it? 4 women: Tipper Gore, wife of Senator and later Vice President Al Gore; Susan Baker, wife of Treasury Secretary James Baker; Pam Howar, wife of Washington realtor Raymond Howar; and Sally Nevius, wife of Washington City Council Chairman John Nevius. Example 2: Who always stops you from running with scissors and playing with fire? Your mom. Example 3: Which sex complains of you being "distant" and then "has a headache" the rest of the night except during the last 1:23 seconds of the third period of game seven of the Stanley Cup finals? We men have lived with this for decades but considered it the price we had to pay for maintaining the patriarchy and having sex. But then all of a sudden women wanted to vote, which corresponds with the decline of western society, and they wanted equal pay, which corresponded with a rapid increase in credit card debt in America, and then finally they took away sexual harassment, which corresponds with workplace shootings and fung shui. OK, fine. So now your equal. So why would women expect other women to give them a break now that were in the middle of the pinnacle of women's lib? Hey, you guys wanted to be treated equal to men? Live it up. Treat each other the way you treated us for centuries. As for us guys, we don't have 'frenemies.' All we have is "dudesthatwanttoboneyoursisterorgirlfriend" and they are a lot easier to deal with because you just make sure to peg them in the balls during hockey practice. So, in summary: Women. Equal Rights. No fun. Hockey. Puck to the balls. I can solve any world issue on a Monday after 4 cups of coffee. Update: I forgot that animals hate us too.

Hey Diana

I found out why the Sens didn't win the cup. It seems that they have been training in Australia. See?

An open invitation...

Do you like Say Anything? Do you like fantasy football? If so, Rob Port has openings just for you. If you consider yourself a fantasy football fan and are in less than three leagues, why don't you move to France and take up watching tennis or something...

Still a chance to punk Barry

The IRS could supposedly tag the guy that got Barry's 756 ball with about $210,000 in taxes based on a value of $600,000 for the ball. At this point the IRs hasn't made any official statements on it but several industry people have. As soon as 21-year-old Matt Murphy snagged the valuable piece of sports history Tuesday night, his souvenir became taxable income in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service, according to experts. "It's an expensive catch," said John Barrie, a tax lawyer with Bryan Cave LLP in New York who grew up watching the Giants play at Candlestick Park. "Once he took possession of the ball and it was his ball, it was income to him based on its value as of yesterday." By most estimates, the ball that put Bonds atop the list of all-time home run hitters with 756 would sell in the half-million dollar range on the open market or at auction. So how could he turn this to an advantage? Burn the ball. He could then declare the tax value as a loss and punk Barry at the same time. OR He could tell the IRS publicly that the ball was from a cheater and he doesn't want it so they can seize it. Then put it in a huge box with a couple thousand baseballs that look exactly the same.

August 8th, 2007 Keyboard Key of the Day

Shift+8 or the 'multiply' key on the number pad. ASCII value: Dec - 42 Octal - 52 Hex - 2a

What would make me respect Baseball

Ok. As I've said, I don't like baseball. I never played it. I don't enjoy watching it. I only went to Rangers games as a teen to see girls in skimpy clothes and later, in college, to see girls in skimpy clothes while blitzed on watered down beer. It really doesn't appeal to me. Sorry. The sport just doesn't earn my respect. Nothing that the players are doing is earth shatteringly, awesomely entertaining. However, Baseball has one chance. They can totally earn my respect off the actions of one man. I'm talking about Mike Bacsik. Bacsik is slated to pitch to Barry Bonds the next time he tries to break the record. Of course, no one wants to be the guy that gives up that run an ties his name to the Roid God's ass raping of Baseball history, but I think this is his chance to do something great. If Basik were to take the mound and pitch to Barry Bonds a big, juicy underhanded rainbow of a pitch for the record breaker it would be the ultimate sign of disrespect. Forever, they'd show that video of Barry crushing the most anti-climatic pitch ever made. At the same time Bacsik could say "Yeah, I'm sure that he's a great player and all but this record is so hollow now. Why should I show the man the respect of my effort? He's a cheater. " That would make me respect Baseball, if the guy who's the "other guy" on the highlight reel steals Barry's spotlight just to punk him.

BTW, I hate Baseball

Please, bring me some hockey Or some football Or some "football" In fact, as a person stuck with the Texas Rangers all summer long, Id rather watch this Baseball can not end soon enough. PS: Barry Bonds is a douche.

Why video games can be a parents best friend.

When I was born they had Pong. By the time I was a kid they had Atari. In my teen years it was Nintendo. By college we had Sega. By late college we had the PlayStation. I'm living right in the wheelhouse of the video game generation. I was a master of both Pac-man and Tekken Tournement. I wasted time with both Galaga and Grand Theft Auto. As I have grown, video gaming has been a constant influence in my life. Now, as a dad, I have to weigh that influence again from a different perspective. The cons of video games get a lot of popular press. It's not too hard to find a story linking video games to obesity, anti-social behavior or violence. Honestly, I am typically critical of these stories for the fact that most make rather loose leaps between the correlation and the causality of social ills. For example, if I had research that said that "By their 15th birthdays, close to 100 percent of males have masturbated to orgasm." and I have data that says "95 per cent of the teens surveyed said they had access to either a video game machine or home computer and a similar proportion (90 per cent) said they owned at least some video games." Does that mean that video games makes boys by age 15 masturbate? No, it's a correlation. However, the media rarely takes the time to explain the methodology of their comparative data or it's collection in the inferences that it makes when blaming social ills on video games. I can honestly admit that as a result of my childhood, I'm jaded about the validity of these results because I belonged to several "at risk" groups of my adolescent time. I was a single parented child. I also listened to heavy metal rock. I played D&D. I had dyslexia. We were, for most of my life, below the poverty line. My parents didn't have a college education. Somehow, through all of that statistically proclaimed "adversity" I managed not to become a drug fueled, Satanist who was kept down by socio-economic underpinnings of a corrupted upbringing. Who knew? The truth of it is, a lot of that so-called study done at the time was conducted to blame a social phenomenon that people didn't understand or like or correlated with an event that they would accept either happened for a different reason or no reason at all. Like the kid that killed himself while listening to Ozzy. His parents wigged out and blamed Ozzy, and heavy metal, for their sons death. In the process, they actually sued Ozzy for causing their sons death. The court killed the case but the standard of people blaming external events for an issue that would have more than likely been tied to the home was set. Additionally, I never forget that the media is generated not by experts in relevant fields but by people with journalism degrees. They can write about science but are rarely scientist themselves. On the other hand, the positive effects of video games are rarely ever discussed. In passing we are told that these games are horrible things that teach our children horrible things. Really? If they teach horrible things, then is it possible that they can teach good things too? For example, some video games teach children problem solving abilities dictated by logic and memory. Not only are children given objectives, but they are given limitations in multiple areas that govern the problem, that must all be managed, simultaneously, in order to solve the problem. All of this is done in an environment that rewards success, promotes learning, increases hand eye coordination, has consequences for failure and works within a construct of fair play. For example, the "Lego Starwars" video games are ones that my kids love. In them you have to solve puzzles, both short and long term. Achievement is rewarded. Mistakes have an immediate cost but the option to retry and learn from mistakes is available. It forces players to make logical problem solving steps while under character constraints, physical constraint and chronological constraints. Most importantly, it's fun. This is a game that my four year old can play at a totally different level than what my six year old does or for what I do. The complexity increases the reward of play while not governing the game play itself. The Shrek and Spiderman3 video games are similar but for older players, due to plot complexity. Most sports games fit under this mold, as well. In this, parents who are willing to take the time to research and pay attention to game play can find that some video games are great learning tools that create their own reward while giving the parent the open forum to show the real life benefit of the lessons learns in the virtual world. Even this morning, as my son sat, stuck in a part of the Ratatouille video game, he was frustrated with his ability to pass the level. I pointed out that sometimes multiple attempts have to be made to correctly time any event in order to pass the level. If that fails, back tracking and reevaluating the steps you made to get there and looking for a missed part of the level sometimes helps to show another path to progress. However, I stressed, there is always a way to get over any objective because the game is governed by it's design so that once you truly have all the options the answer will present itself. Sure enough, before I left he had passed it and in that exchange he was reminded of the same qualities that make real people succeed in the real world. Of course not all games are suitable for all kids and some games are just crap but the same can be said of books, TV or ,in some cases, parents. The point I am making is that video games, out of hand, are no worse than any other tool that a parent has for teaching, yet offer a somewhat unique way to allow for an interaction that mimics the real world in the tasking that one must acquire in order to solve real world issues.

Football Jokes

I know that most of you aren't folloing football (soccer) but I wanted to share a few jokes so as to increase our abilities for US/ euro relations. Q: If you see a Liverpool Fan on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him? It might be your bike... Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control? A: Their personalities. Q. You're trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a deadly Rattlesnake, and an Man Utd Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A. Shoot the Man United Fan. Twice. Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan? A: Skid marks in front of the dog. Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool... Newsflash: Thieves broke into the home of a Liverpool fan and stole two books. "The thing that upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!" Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words? A: A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Man Utd. A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?" "Because he beats me" said the little boy. "Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge. Because she beats me aswell. "Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?" The little boy replied" I would like to live with Southampton FC, because they don't beat anyone!!" A Rangers and Celtic fan get into a nasty car accident. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Celtic fan says, "So you're a Rangers fan, that's interesting. I'm a Celtic fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." The Rangers fan replied,"Totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" The Rangers fan went on, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?" He hands the bottle to the Celtic fan who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the Rangers fan. The Rangers fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands back to the Celtic fan. The Celtic fan asks, "Aren't you having any?" The Rangers fan replies, "Nah...I think I'll just wait for the police......"

An FIU Original - The Durrant Blues

To be sung to the tune of "True" by Spandau Ballet Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Great year....... Made the sweet six-teen..... No wait we didn’t, we lost to USC. But I’ll show them when I go Pro, One eighty-five pounds, I can’t go. (One eighty-five pounds) Rick Barnes said questioning my strength, Meant that people were stupid. Why do I find it hard to listen to him whine? When I should have worked out some more....... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know this much is true. Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I’ll still go number two. Doesn’t matter and my arms are too long To bench my weight, not even close to once. Hope lane agility gets me past. No wait I’m almost dead last. (I’m not that fast) First pick is slipping from my hands, And Oden looks thirty now. I tore up college ball but I tell you what, I wish that I would have worked out....... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know this much is true. Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah We don’t lift weights at t.u. *break* Rick Barnes said questioning my strength, Meant that people were stupid. Why do I find it hard to listen to him whine? When I should have worked out some more....... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know this much is true. Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I’ll still go number two. I know this much is........ I’ll still go number....... Two. I know this much is...... I’ll still go number....... Two. I know this much is...... We don’t lift weights at....... t.u. I know this much is...... I’ll still go number....... Two. Here's what Texags had to say about Kevin...

Sorry Diana

If it's any consolation, I hate those jackass water fowl too. (For everyone else, The Ducks won the Stanley Cup.)

Conversations with my Mom: Or "Why I'm so much cooler than the 'normal' kids"

IM recieved at 10:25 this morning from my mother: Alba or Beil? IM replied to Mother, via cell phone: Biel, hands down Later Phone call: Me: SO why the Biel or Alba question? Mom: I was just curious what you thought. I just don't see Alba as "sexy." Me: Sure. Not to take anything away from Alba, because she's hot but it's not in a "sexy" hot. Biel's sexy is erotic. Alba might be a freak, but you know Beil is a freak. Mom: Yeah, Alba is too "little girl" cute. Now, how many of you rate chicks with your mom? See? My mom kicks ass. In a related vein, I have a new contraversy for the educated FIU reader. Danica Patrick or Milka Duno or Sarah Ficher Debate!

How to watch the Stanley Cup Finals and care when your team isn't in it: A Tutorial

The Stanley Cup Finals are upon us. Last night I watched the game, with my dad and my brother, in which The Ducks secured their spot. However, I know this moment creates some difficulty for marginal hockey fans and those who really would like to care but just can't. For those people, I'd like to give you my Official Rob B Method of Manufacturing Passion for Hockey when your teams not involved. Get a piece of paper and make two columns, one for each team. This will be your score sheet that will allow you to see where you really sit, cause it ain't on the fence during the finals. First, what conference is your favorite team in? Give the team that's in the other conference 5 points. We wanted your team, not that team in the finals so you can hate them a little for that. Second, Look at both teams rosters for former players of your favorite team. For everyone you find give that team 5 points. Those guys played for you so you can extend them some loyalty. Third, look at those same rosters for players that you hate, for whatever reason. Subtract 5 points from that team. Fourth, whose uniforms look coolest. Give that team one point. Fifth, which team has the gayest mascot? Subtract a point from that team. Sixth, if one of the teams knocked your team out of the playoffs this year then you give the other team 50 points. I know some people say "but if they go all the way than it's not so bad that my team lost to them..." That's crap. They beat your team and they probably cheated. Be a man about it and call the a "cheating, cup thieving group of butt monkeys" and mean it. Seventh, if either team has "ice girls" or "cheerleaders" or the like they get 2 points. Eighth, if the team is located in your country they get 5 points. I ran my list using the Dallas Stars as my favorite team. The result was The Ducks had a -21. The Sens had a 21. So with 42 points difference, it was easy to point to the fact that I'm sick of the Ducks and I hate about 6 of their players. (Sorry Teemu, I still like ya but you're going down.) So Diana, can count me as on the Sens band wagon for the next 4 games. (Yeah, it'll only take 4.) And the Ducks can rest assured of my continued hate. At this point you should have a a fair tally to indicate which way you need to fall in rooting for the finals. However, in the case of some fans they simple don't have the hockey knowledge to really feel in touch with the sport despite my list. For you select few, I suggest you flip a coin, pick a team and place a $1000 bet on that team for the finals. By the end of the second game you'll be an expert on the left wing lock and neutral zone breakout plays.

Venus and Diana .... MIGHTY WARRIORS!

... and goddesses. Oh ... and the SENS! This town is hoppin' tonight.

Go, Sens!

I know most of you don't care but so what!

GLORY, GLORY, MAN UNITED! THE REDS GO MARCHING ON, ON , ON!!! The Red Devils have won the Premiership for the ninth time. I love being the only person in my office to know that other than my Chelsea supporting boss who is coming in to find this article taped to his office door.

Go Sens !!!!

Minus a few teeth ... but who's counting?

Damn you, Dallas Stars!

You know, I'm not going to bitch about the loss. You were the better team all night. Turco got his shit together. The scoring was spread around. Unlike last year's "one and done" series with the Avs, you don't look soft. Hell, even Robidas was out there taking a pounding and popping up like it was nothing. Modano was hauling ass every where. Nagy looked like a threat. All of that without Ott and Lindros and Barnaby. Ok? Seriously, it was a good game. However, if I'm going to commit to watching a 4th overtime and stay up until 2:36am and watch you guys lose, then do me one favor: Take some time today and look at the tape of the game and realize that the Sendin twins are a one trick ponies in their cycling. They swoop out far and wide and cycle to the center. It's all they did all night. If you don't chase the one away from the puck out but instead swing to the slot, you'll be there before they are when the inevitable pass comes. I know you guys were tired. It was a long game. If you were going to lose one, that's the way to lose it because you guys are deeper and over the long run you have more guys to wear them out. Still, you've scared them this game. Take away that play, get more traffic in front of their net and otherwise keep on them and you'll beat them.

It's NCAA Tourney Time!

**Bumped for the brackets being set** The brackets will lock on Thursday the 15th. Join in and/or make your selections now. Almost... And it's also an annual tradition for me to host a bracket and dangle a $10 amazon.com gift certificate to the winner. So here's the sign up info: Go here and fill in the blanks with the following info: Group ID# (36286) Password (ncaa2007) Feel free to spread this information amongst your blogs if you have one. And remember, this is only open to the first 50 people that sign up. Please note that if you do play and don't pick Texas A&M to make the sweet sixteen, the most you can win is $9.00. And if you don't pick A&M to make the sweet sixteen and are correct, the most you can win is $0.50. I'm kidding on those last two points. Maybe.

Oops ....

The Ottawa Citizen I just do this to annoy y'all.

I'm sorry. So very, very sorry.

This post will cruise by the general interests of 99% of our blog readers but I just have to say this, so loyal readers are more that welcome to skip this entirely. I haven't commented on the EPL for a while because I know that most people in the US don't know what the EPL is much less care. Sure, there was a little ripple in the US sports scene when people heard that Beckham was coming to play in the US but for the most part I suspect it's pretty much life as usual. Me? I'm a Red Devil for life. I've been watching every Man U and EPL game I can tivo. My boss is a Chelsea fan. He and I talk football pretty much daily. But today, as a Yank, I want to sidestep the boundaries of sport and say something to the supporters at Anfield: "You will never walk alone, but in Tom Hick's case, you might want to." See, I live in Dallas. I follow the Dallas Stars. My dad is a lifelong fan of the Texas Rangers. I feel pretty safe in my experience with Tom Hicks to say that the best days of Liverpool will probably not have his name tied to it, that is, unless this leopard changes his spots. Tom Hicks ran the Stars to a Stanley Cup after buying the club from Norm Green. Green was in desperate need for money and brought his team to Dallas after losing money in Minnesota. For the record, losing money in hockey ownership in Minnesota is like loosing money in drilling equipment in Dubai. You can do it, but it takes a lot of work. Once Hicks grabbed on he started spending money. We got Ed Belfour, Brett Hull, Joe Nieuwendyk, Pierre Turgeon and Bill Guerin. He was free with the cash to get good players. The result was that in 1999 we won the Stanley Cup. It was bad ass. (Yes, Brett Hulls foot was in the crease! Suck it, Buffalo.) Then he bought the Rangers, from George Bush as a matter of fact,and he signed Alex Rodriguez to a 10 year $250 million dollar contract. The biggest, longest contract in baseball history, at that time. Everything seemed great. Suddenly, though, he switched. All of a sudden we got this song and dance about the clubs not making money. He put the Stars up for sell, but couldn't find a buyer for what he wanted to charge. There were trades and contract lapses. Fan favorites disappeared and retread veterans at rock bottom prices started showing up in the games. The mantra was because he wanted the teams to have "financial flexibility" which is Hicks speak for "we aren't paying to keep talent." Hicks began to run his club like a business and solely as a business. The goal of winning was secondary to making cash. Consider this, a quote from Tom Hicks when he bought the Rangers in 98: "I love sports," said Hicks, a billionaire who owns the NHL's Dallas Stars. "We want to add an American League pennant ... and to bring the World Series to Arlington. ... I've demonstrated with the Stars we will have the most competitive team we can have." Sounds great. Of course, we haven't been to the playoffs since 1999, but hey why trust me on that when you can check the Rangers record on wikipedia. Of course, later in that article, Hicks goes on to show how he's going to bring Dallas a pennant. "There's no reason the Rangers can't get to the top," Hicks said. ``This is one of the best franchises in the country. It's in a world class facility. You don't even have to win a championship every year to draw the fans. You just have to show you're really trying." Well, he's stayed true to form on that. Despite the appreciation of baseball being lacking in England, I'm sure that in the cricket circles you're aware of what happens when you don't have good bowlers. Well, that describes Texas Rangers pitching in the Hicks era mostly because pitchers cost money. A lot of it. Now, hopefully I'm wrong. Hopefully, Gillett will temper Hicks' business sense and actually explain to Tom Hicks that tradition and winning are important. Gillett owns the Montreal Canadiens who reside slightly under "God" in the Canadian Hockey circles, however with the salary cap in place in the NHL a trained chimp can make money with a NHL team now. Also, there is a chance that Tom Hick will change back to the owner that actually spends money and gives a care about the rankings as opposed to the balance sheet. However, I'm more convinced that he'll do what he does in Dallas. He'll tell you what you want to hear and just keep taking your money. Of course maybe he meant it when he said: "When I looked into this over the past month, I was awe-struck with the history and the true passion of the fans compared to other sports I am involved with," Hicks said in an interview on Liverpool's Web site. Well, fuck you too, Tom. We wish you were a little more like Mark Cuban and actually gave a rats ass about results in the game. However, I'm sure he will love Liverpool supporters who are "do or die" because that means he'll still make money even if he ditch you favorite players and run out a team full of journeymen and spares. I'm sorry, Liverpool, but I think you may have just brokered a deal with the devil.

What was that score again?

I'll bet it's cold in Chicago today.

My superbowl prediction

Peyton will launch his own jewelry line after the game. Bears by 7

The NFL: Redefining "absurdly stupid"

From SI.com: The NFL has nixed a church's plans to use a wall projector to show the Colts-Bears Super Bowl game, saying it would violate copyright laws. NFL officials spotted a promotion of Fall Creek Baptist Church's "Super Bowl Bash" on the church Web site last week and overnighted a letter to the pastor demanding the party be canceled, the church said. Initially, the league objected to the church's plan to charge a fee to attend and that the church used the license-protected words "Super Bowl" in its promotions. Pastor John D. Newland said he told the NFL his church would not charge anyone and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words. But the NFL objected to the church's plans to use a projector to show the game, saying the law limits it to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.... NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league's long-standing policy is to ban "mass out-of-home viewing" of the Super Bowl. An exception is made for sports bars and other businesses that show televised sports as a part of their everyday operations. "We have contracts with our (TV) networks to provide free over-the-air television for people at home," Aiello said. "The network economics are based on television ratings and at-home viewing. Out-of-home viewing is not measured by Nielsen." Point #1. If I have a 72" tv, it's illegal for me to watch the game. Point #2. Any reference to the "Super Bowl" is illegal unless the NFL ok's it. Point #3. The NFL legal department feels it's a good idea Point #4. The NFL will stop churches from showing the game as a "mass viewing" but not stop bar. (For the record, after year 40 percent of Americans tell pollsters that they attended church or synagogue in the last seven days.) The NFL may want to reconsider what level marketing prowess they really have because this really strikes me as a bone headed set of positions. Of course, instead I'll probably just get sued for typing the words "Super Bowl."

Fickle Racist Bastards: A study over Dallas sports fans of the past and pretty much today

The Ft Worth Star Telegram had a story today that grabbed my attention. It's about the Early Dallas Texans, who went on to be the Indy Colts, and racism in the 1950's. It's the typical "black athletes had to put up with racism back in the day" story. If that concept shocks you then you need to get out and buy a history book. It's not like that's really a new concept, but since the Colts are in the Superbowl and the Cowboys aren't and they have paper to fill it's not totally unexpected that we'd get this piece of writing. However, some of the sections of the story are too good to pass up. So...I'll just have to fisk it. Once, the Colts were Dallas' team. A half-century ago, before two more stops and two Super Bowls, the team that is now the Indianapolis Colts played a forgettable 1-11 season as the Dallas Texans. Viola Taliaferro and Geraldine Young can't forget. Their husbands were the Texans' stars -- yet they couldn't even sit beside white players' wives in the segregated Cotton Bowl. "Dallas was extremely prejudiced," Viola Taliaferro said this week, 54 years after the Texans brought pro football to the South, only to go broke in midseason. Her husband, George, was the Texans' leading rusher and only all-star. But she couldn't try on clothes in Neiman Marcus. "It was really quite insulting," she said. "We were treated like second-class citizens everywhere we went." Just to clarify, where wasnt the US "very racist" at that time? However, I'd like to point out something that many people from outside the Dallas area might not realize: If you go 1-11 in Dallas, you're going to be treated like a second class citizen because your team sucks, more than any other factor. Geraldine Young's husband, Buddy, led the Texans with five touchdowns in that 1952 season as crowds dwindled to 10,000. The team eventually folded and finished the season on the road. Majority owner Giles Miller, a Dallas textile executive, later blamed the failure in part on conservative preachers' opposition to Sunday football. But race is also blamed for the Texans' failure -- not because the team had African-American players, but because Dallas' African-American football fans objected to their segregated seats in the south end zone of the near-empty Cotton Bowl. Or it could also be that going 1-11 doesn't endear you to fans. "It was just such a shock to see this big iron pole with the sign 'Colored Section,'" Geraldine Young, 81, said this week by phone from suburban Baltimore, where she settled when the Texans moved there and became the Baltimore Colts. She had grown up in Chicago and brought along three children when the Youngs moved to Dallas along with the remnants of the New York Yanks. On game days, Claude Jr., 7, would run up to the Cotton Bowl front gate and say, "Let's go in here." She had to tell him, "No, we don't go in there." Inside, the Youngs joined Viola Taliaferro and her daughter in the segregated end zone. "Here George was a star player, and his little girl couldn't even sit with the crowd," Viola Taliaferro said by phone from Bloomington, Ind., where George Taliaferro went on to an academic career at Indiana University. Nothing contrite to add here. Racism sucks. However, I'd like to point out that a lot of fans pay big money to sit in the endzones now. We need to reconsider the "not even being in the crowd" angle on that one, because if we're sure that's the case then the NFL needs to do a little seating maximazation. After a couple of games, she said, the white players' wives invited them to sit together. But Taliaferro asked whether friends could come along. The answer was no. Her reply: "Then no thanks. I will sit wherever you say black people can sit." But I thought they said that they "weren't allowed to" sit where to other players wives....Oh, to hell with it. Let's keep rolling. (The segregation was even more severe than at other Cotton Bowl events, according to a 1952 letter from NAACP official Maceo Johnson to Texans officials: "The Negro fans were more viciously segregated than the oldest fans can recall.") George Taliaferro, Texas' first pro football star, had sat listening on the phone while his wife reminisced about their time in Texas. He said he had hoped the state's passion for football would overcome prejudice. "It seemed to me that if anywhere in the South would accept us, it would have been Dallas," he said. "I was just dumbfounded that it didn't work." Psssst... 1-11! Think about it! According to some descriptions, he and Buddy Young broke the color line at the Adolphus Hotel when they were served there at the Texans' team banquet. "We were definitely the only two there," George Taliaferro said. "Our friends weren't sure whether we'd be served. They let us know that it had never happened before." Maybe the Texans were just ahead of their time. By 1960, when both the Dallas Cowboys and a new Dallas Texans team that eventually became the Kansas City Chiefs came to town, the city was slowly changing along with the South. The Taliaferros no longer hold any grudge against Dallas or Texas. A daughter lives in Garland. But Taliaferro, a running back and quarterback often compared to current Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, couldn't resist adding a comment about a current Dallas star. "I feel very proud of the role that I and other black professionals played in paving the way," he said. "But I am also very disappointed when I watch games today. "I could never have envisioned a black professional conducting himself like Terrell Owens." Taliaferro can talk. His Dallas team is in the Super Bowl. Not a bad story over all but let's hit the high points. ~1-11 doesn't beat racism in 1956 Dallas. ~1-11 doesn't endear anyone to fans in Dallas. ~Dallas fans want you to win. ~If you win, we don't care what race, nationality, religon or species you are. (We have people who would cheer for a genetically re-animated Hitler if he could coach us to a Superbowl.) ~Dallas fans are not like Red Sox fans who were ok with sucking for years. ~Terrell Owens acts like an ass. Now you can understand how this story will reflect in Dallas. The rest of that stuff is window dressing.